You 'cat,' that would 'worry a rat!' You 'cow with the crumpled horn!' I wish you were _squeez'd_,—and that's _flat_,— For ill-using a 'Maiden forlorn.' You're as bad as a _slave-driver_ quite, Altho' you subscrib'd to the tracts;— If the linen's wash'd ever so _white_, You always complain of the _blacks_. A servant is worthy her _hire_; You pilfer one-fourth of her due, For tho' she does all you desire, She only gets _ire_ from you. A fit she had, one afternoon, When you set her a-cleaning the paint; And while she was off in a _swoon_, You said it was only a _feint_. A party you had yesterday,— No wonder so often she swoons,— For as soon as the folks went away, You began to be missing the _spoons_! She was cleaning the windows last week (Such savings are very small gains), You scolded her while you could speak, And told her she didn't take _panes_. She cleans all the boots and the shoes; When she's done 'em she sits down to cry: WARREN'S JET is the blacking you choose; But od _'rabbit_ that _Warren_! say I. For this you can make no excuse:— You'd a party at whist t'other day, And you scolded away like the _deuce_, 'Cause the sandwiches dropp'd from the _tray_. You tell her she dresses too gay (You're afraid that she'll cut out your gals), You strip lace and ribbons away, And say she shan't wear such fal-lals. 'Tis in vain her attempting to speak, For your heart is as hard as a stone; But she means to be married next week; Then she'll 'do what she likes with her own.' [Illustration: AUGUST.——Bathing at Brighton. ]