The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
And, thirdly and lastly, by Synthesis. If we provide ourselves with
about a Selibra or half pound of the Cheese, entitulated _Duplex
Glocestrius_, or Double Gloucester; and then go on to cut the intrinsic
caseous Matter into tenuous Segments or Laminæ; and, positing such
Segments within the coquinary commodity distinguished by Culinarian's as
the _Furnus Bataviœ_ or Dutch Oven, submit the same to the Fire, until
by the action of the Caloric they become mollified unto Semiliquidity:
whereupon, if we diffuse the caseous fluid on an Offula of Bread, the
Superfices whereof hath been previously torrified, and then Season the
same with a slight aspersion of the Sinapine, Piperine, and Saline
Condiments, or with Mustard, Pepper, and Salt, we shall find that the
Sapor and Fragror thereof differ in no wise from the Gust and Odour of
the Edible we had præ-attained from the Covent Garden Cœnatorium; and,
consequentially, that the Welsh Rabbit is not, as the Vulgar Pseudodox
conceiteth, a species of Cuniculus vernacular to Wales, but as was
before predicated, simply a Savoury and Redolent Scitamentum or Rarebit,
which is much existimated by the _Cymri_ or Welsh people, who, from time
prætermemorial, have been cognized as a Philocaseous, or Cheese-loving,
Nation.
[Illustration:
THE MILITARY ACADEMY IN AN UPROAR.
]
[Illustration:
The Naughty Life-Guardsman.
]
THE EDUCATION OF THE SOLDIER.
A great deal of Ink has been shed upon the question whether DILWORTH
should enter the army; but we have met with no greater instance of the
necessity of sending the sons of Mars, or, in other words, the children
"in arms," to an infant school, than the following copy of verses which
were picked up in one of the Areas of Albany Street, and which are
supposed to be the outpourings of some Cupid in the Life Guards, to his
Psyche in the Kitchen:—
[Illustration:
"Creeping like Snail lazily to School."
]
[Illustration:
The Life-Guardsman on his Pegasus.
]
TO THE IDLE OF MY HEART.
ark! to the Blarst of Waw, luv,
fal, la, lal, la
hit His the cannings Raw, luv,
fal, la, lal, la
yes! yes! that Marshall Orn, luv,
purclames i must be Gorn, luv,
and brake that Art of Yourn, luv,
fal, la, lal, la
wy duz that buzzum Sy, luv,
fal, la, lal, la
hand teers bejew that High, luv,
fal, la, lal, la
but Hair i Mounts my charjer, luv,
i Wood the gift wur Larger, luv,
take thou this Here mustarsher, luv,
fal, la, lal, la