"I feare," sedde y^e Philosopher, "Thatt's more thanne I canne doo; To solve so deepe a problemme, boye, Requires a pype or two." He fill'd hys bowle, thenne pufft and thought, And mutter'd "No! that's notte itte! Y^e waye to Welthe!—Yes! lette mee see! I' feckings! boye, I've gotte itte!" "Marke welle my wordes," thenne sedde y^e sage, "Yffe thou dost longe for rytches, A quack Lyfe Pille withe golde wille fille Y^e Pockettes of your britches." "Moste surelie," crie'd y^e Invalede, "Thatte is y^e waye to Welthe; Butte oh! thou greate Philosopher! Whiche is y^e waye to Helthe?" "Thatte's quicklie tolde," returned y^e sage, "Y^e Quacke Pille, whenne you make itte, Lette others swallowe!—butte be sure, Neverre yourselfe to take itte." "Oh, lerned sage!" y^e youthe exclaim'd, "Thy wordes I'll live to bless! Butte one more question stille remanes, Y^e waye to Happinesse." "Yffe that you'd know," replied ye sage, "Withe thee this maximme carrie; As you wolde lede a happie lyfe, Take my advise-Don't marry!" Y^e Invalede returnéd home, And liv'd to be four score, Amasst ne ende of golde, and died A happie batchelore. [Illustration: "THERE NEVER WERE SUCH TIMES." ] [Illustration: Here we are again! ] [Illustration: "Time Flies." ] [Illustration: Just hatched. ] TEMPUS EDAX RERUM. Old Time is a regular glutton, Something dainty for ever he's munching; The leg of a Statue's his dinner, And the wing of a Palace his luncheon. Rhodes' Colossus is merely a chicken, In the maw of this greedy old soul; And Stonehenge only rashers of granite, And Pompeii a "toad in the hole." Trajan's Column to him's a Poloney, And the Pyramids Omelettes Soufflées; Irish stew are ould Erin's Round Towers, And a nice little hash is Herne Bay. But of late, he'd had little worth eating, So one day he—inclin'd for a treat— At the Board of Works called to inquire What new buildings they'd got he could eat. The Commissioners said, "They were sorry They'd got nothing nice for him; but There's the Wellington Statue just up, Sir, And Westminster Bridge in low cut. "Nelson's Monument wasn't quite ready" For old Edax Rerum to swallow; "But he might have the National Gallery, With Trafalgar Square Fountains to follow."