STEAMED OUT, or the Starving Stage-Coachman and Boys. ] POST BOY. They do say, too, that the Sheriff has seized all "THE HANGEL'S" things, and "THE 'OLE IN THE VALL" is to be closed afore another twelvemonth comes round— And, vot's more! that "THE PIG IN THE POUND"'s broke, and von't be hable to pay his creditors nuffin at all votsomdever in the pound. STAGE COACHMAN. And then the Chambermaids has all gone to stand behind mahogany counters at the Stations—though a body would hardly think it— Vhere they sarves out hot tea and soup, to poor half-starv'd devils of passengers, vot arn't hallowed no time to drink it. POST BOY. All the Boots, too, has turned railvay policemen, and hangs out them signals, of vhich you've werry likely heerd speak; And vhich they uses to purvent the gen'l'men, as is travelling in sitch a werry particular hurry, a being druv slap into the middle of next veek. STAGE COACHMAN. Yes! and the vorst of that there cursed railvay is, that vhenever there is a haccident on it— The're sartin to mangle a person's poor body so, that even the Coroner don't like sitting upon it. POST BOY. And though, Vill'am, I've bolted with dozens of heiresses in my time, I an't had a 'lopement for this plaguy long vhile; For the 'appy couples, hang 'em! now takes a "day ticket" to Gretna Green, and runs avay in the most hunromanticated style. STAGE COACHMAN. Yes! and vhere now is that beautiful purcession, on the fust of May, to show off the new scarlet coats of the Drivers of Her Majesty's mails? Vy! if there vos to be sitch a thing, now-a-days, Joe! it 'ud be nuffin but von one long line of them beastly dirty Stokers to them nasty filthy rails. POST BOY. Vell! Vill'am, I only vish I vas the hingineer to them there railvay trains—and then their business I vouldn't be werry long sp'iling; For, if I only had the driving of all of them as likes travelling behind steam ingins, blow me! but I'd bust the bilers of the whole biling. STAGE COACHMAN. And, as for my part, if I only had the tooling along of them there D'rectors—into 'em, Crikey! Joe, vouldn't I stick it? Yes! I'd tool 'em along slap to that "bourne from which no traveller returns;" or, in other words, from which nobody can't get no "Return Ticket." ADVICE TO PARENTS AND GUARDIANS. (_Strictly private and confidential._) MY VERY DEAR FRIENDS,