The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
As soon as the gentlemen have retired upstairs, Kitson, who remains
below, carefully locks up the remnants of the fruit and wine, and
reminds Master K. of that little affair of the Champagne, and trusts he
may never have to speak to him on that subject again. Then the gentlemen
upstairs ask each lady in turn to oblige them with a song, and after
considerable difficulty, prevail upon Mrs. Kitson's unmarried sister to
favour them with "Did you ne'er hear of Kate Kearney;" but unfortunately
the nuts spoil the runs. And then the gentlemen begin to have a strong
inclination for Sofas and forty winks, and will put their "nasty greasy
heads" on the bright yellow satin damask cushions. And then the company
grows very silent; so that Kitson, who can't get up his rubber, is not
sorry when he hears the Coal and Potato Warehouseman announce the first
carriage. Then comes the hunting for Cloaks, and the running for Cabs,
and the giving generous shillings and very generous half-crowns to the
Coal and Potato Warehouseman, who is very careful to be at the door as
each party is leaving. At length they have all gone, and Kitson tells
his better half to see the plate right, and retires to bed.
Next morning he is very surly all breakfast, and very late for business,
and Mrs. K. speaks out about the quantity of wine that was drunk; and
the family, much to the delight of the little K.'s, have the remainder
of the jellies, and other good things, for dinner all the next week.
PEOPLE ONE MEETS IN SOCIETY.
No. 1.
THE YOUNG GENTLEMAN WHO HAS JUST GOT HIS COMMISSION.
Do you see that young man at the top of the quadrille, dancing with that
pretty flaxen-haired girl? That's Arthur Bumpshus; he has just got his
commission; though one might guess as much, for he's paying more
attention to himself, as you perceive, than to his partner, and he holds
his coat by both of the lapels, so as to keep it off his shoulders,
while he puffs out his chest like a pouter pigeon. His hair too, you
observe, is cut very short behind, and frizzed out at the sides, and
stuck up at the top, with the true military effect; and whenever his
partner speaks to him he looks down on the floor, and, inclining his
head slightly on one side, listens with a haughty frown.