It is, you must know, a curious instrument, or rather a collection of instruments, that go at once to the bosoms of all Englishmen. It subdues discord, and substitutes pleasant harmony for it. No sooner is a note of it heard than off flies every hat, the whole assembly rises; fifty thousand bare heads—if there are so many present—instantly respect the majesty of the appeal, and fifty thousand voices—if you can only count them—join in glad response to it. But what is it? Foreigners even respect it, and take off their hats. Once more—What is it? Well, that which has most hats taken off to it, is— Stop! I have it (cries a young musician, who had the signal honour of beating the big drum in the Drury Lane orchestra on the stormy nights of _Monte Christo_): It's— Be quiet, sir. It's no such thing. Learn, young man, that you've no right to rob any one of his secret. Sit down, sir, and allow us to say— Well, then, say it, and be— Hush—breathe not a word that may be offensive to [Illustration: EARS POLITE. ] We were just going to say, if you had not interrupted us, that that which has more hats taken off than anything else is—is—is— Is what? Is GOD SAVE THE QUEEN! And this proves that we English are the most loyal people in the world— at least as far as hats go. But who can tell whether the reason why the tremendous shower of revolutions, which have fallen this year as thick as hail all over the Continent, have done such little injury in England, is simply because our beloved country is deeply insured in every office, farm, mansion, cottage, in every English heart, by the loyal policy of GOD SAVE THE QUEEN? So, "Hats off!" and let us all sing— "May she defend our laws, And ever give us cause To sing, with heart and applause, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!" Footnote 8: The base perpetrator of the above has been dismissed. We hope the reader is pacified.—ED. C. A. [Illustration: Fraternité, Egalité, Liberté—d'Après la Republique Rouge. ] SQUIBS IN STATUES. THE newspapers make no mention of a statue that was forwarded to the _Beaux Arts_ at the late competition, for the best design upon the Republique. It was a likeness of the Siamese Twins, who are supposed to have sent their adhesion to the French Government. It was meant to typify _Fraternité_ and _Egalité_, but was objected to as being too figurative. The artist altered the attitudes and sent it again; saying he had made the statue literal enough this time, and that his correction enabled him fortunately to include _Liberté_, in addition to the other two types of the Red Republicans. Upon being exhibited, it was found that he had made the Twins fighting in the most fraternal fashion. The result of the _Liberté_ was, that the artist was immediately carried off to prison, for such designs upon the Republique could not be possibly winked at.