The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities — David Hume — John Shaqi
The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
_Hush! keep back! your chaffing cease,
Some one's steps are this way bent.
Is it one of the police?
No, 'tis but a tipsy gent,
Singing some night-song
As he reels along.
Now he turns the corner humming
That there is "A good time coming."_
[Illustration]
The straw is lying in the square,
And cabs go by with muffled sound;
Whilst cautious hands no longer dare
To lift the knocker—leather bound.
Through the night
Burns a light
From the bedroom window's height,
As the angel of grim death
Hovers there on dusky wings,
To wait the passing breath
Quiv'ring through life's curdled springs.
Go, the mutes and mourners call,
Plumed hearse and heavy pall!
Head of that sad family
Tenant of the tomb shall be
Ere the ghastly week is o'er,
And the knocker sounds once more.
_See! the thoroughfare is clear,
Nothing in it but the lamps.
Now, look sharp! the door draw near,
Wrench the knocker from its clamps_
_Does it still resist?
Give a tougher twist.
Put your stick within the ring.
Now—with both hands—that's the thing!_
[Illustration]
The sun is shining in the street,
The clock moves on from three to five.
The pavement glows with dazzling heat,
And all the West-end is alive.
The air with Bouquet-Royal laden,
Or Patchouli's oppressive herb,
Plays round the fair-haired high-born maiden,
Whose Clarence draws up at the kerb.
And now the knocker knows no quiet,
But revels in unceasing riot.
The flunkey first awakes the clang
With "_Rat-a-tat-tat, bang! bang!! bang!!!_"
The doctor greater care observes,
With temper'd knock for shaken nerves.
Next small tat-tat from frightened fingers
Of one in seedy black, who lingers
In fear and trembling at the door,
Before he dares to knock once more.
Professor he, of light guitar,
Or Polish master from afar,
Or poor relation come to claim
Some small aid due to blood and name.
All sorts of objects come and go,
Like some phantasmagoric show.
Patron or beggar, great or small,
The knocker is a lift to all.