The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
├────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Pray give me your _countenance_; │
│ it will put a _better_ │
│ _face_ upon the matter. │
├────────────────────────────────────┤
│ I trust you wont be _dreadfully_ │
│ _affected_ on receipt of this. │
├────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Sow your wild oats, and │
│ reap five-p'un'-'_otes_. │
├────────────────────────────────────┤
│ You _do_! │
│ I _dun_. │
├────────────────────────────────────┤
│ The "Governor" holds out, │
│ and wont give up the keys. │
├────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Eat a hearty breakfast, and │
│ _Dinner_ forget. │
├────────────────────────────────────┤
│ To one who possesses a good large │
│ _chere amie_ (_share o' me_). │
├────────────────────────────────────┤
│ If I _correspond_ with you, │
│ You must "_match_" with me. │
├────────────────────────────────────┤
│ You're _dying_ for me you declare; │
│ So you _are_, poor old │
│ fellow,—_your hair_. │
├────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Friendship is the _cement_ of │
│ life, and we the "_bricks_." │
├────────────────────────────────────┤
│ You require _bleeding_; │
│ Allow me to _stick_ you. │
├────────────────────────────────────┤
│ This is the land of Liberty, │
│ so I take one. │
├────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Don't be always _for-getting_, │
│ And never _for-giving_. │
├────────────────────────────────────┤
│ For _cleaning_ your _tables_ │
│ there's nothing like a good │
│ "_Sponge_." │
├────────────────────────────────────┤
│ One chaste salute, │
│ Go it my _two-lips_. │
├────────────────────────────────────┤
│ Give your _countenance_, and │
│ you'll give something │
│ extremely _handsome_. │
└────────────────────────────────────┘