The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
French.
[_To be translated into French by the Senior and Junior Classes._]
1. I saw a perfect love of a "white chip", at Howell and James's, and
some of the sweetest muffs I ever beheld in all my life.
2. Our Fanny is a great big silly, and your Charles is a perfect duck.
[_Observation sur le Comte D'Orsay, par Mademoiselle Séraphine._]
La cravate! c'est là, la force et la puissance de cette homme. Elle
était d'une bleu magnifique. Son gilet brodé en cheveux certains, noirs,
et gris, était d'un velour superbe et d'un rouge infernel. Ces
yeux-Seigneur! ces étoiles qu'il avait pour yeux! Tout ce qu'il regarde,
il perce, comme l'éclair. Ils sont cruels et adorables! Mais surtout—
surtout! qu'elles délires, qu'elles extase à voir les favoris de cet
homme ravissant. C'est là, est toute sa puissance. Il sont véritablement
le lit rosier de mille Cupidons——
O-o-oh! sacre nom de tonnerre! le comte est un ange terrestriel et
séduisant.
Philosophy of Logic.
1. Test the following examples by logical rules—
I should like to know your age?
Would you!
Then you wont.
2. What form of syllogism does the following come under?—
Dinner is late again!
Why is it so?
Because it is.
Mathematics.
1. Is the highest power of T equal to x x x?
2. What is the square of Lincoln's Inn, and is it equal to the square of
Belgrave?
3. State the _areas_ that the K division of the whole force will occupy.
4. Given a ¼ of lamb, required to know how many times C21 + E9 will go
into the same.
Architecture.
1. Draw the ornaments of a Corinthian cap, and explain to what kind of
front and facings same is becoming.
Zoology.
1. Are boys monkeys, and men great pigs?
Botany.
1. Does Maiden's Hair (_Briza Media_) bear many flowers? State whether
it grows to great length; and if, when cut, some asses are not very fond
of it.
2. Is Sweet William (_Dianthus Barbatus_) very hairy about head, and
remarkable for bristles? Is he likewise five-toothed, and how many
pistils does he usually carry?
Law.
1. Mention some of the impediments to marriage, and state what
ceremonies will make a marriage complete in Scotland without celebration
_in facie ecclesiæ_.
2. In the case of separation by mutual consent, to what extent is the
husband liable for the maintenance of his wife?
Geology.
1. What kind of crust is the crust of the earth? Is it a flaky one? and
do you think Nature has a nice light hand for a crust?
Knitology.