"Hurrah! we have struck our bargains and paid the duty. This morning two hundred of us were married, ten at a time. The clergyman fainted. My dear angelic wife is of a beautiful japan black. I clothed her before introducing her to my friends. The dear affectionate creature presented me, after the ceremony, with a joint of her little finger, neatly done up in a piece of her red shawl. It is a custom of their country. I had to buy her, for her wedding _trousseau_, six bright tin saucepans and a set of polished fire-irons that she took a fancy to on her way to church." [_A short interval is supposed to elapse._ "Three quarters of a year of unexampled bliss have fled quickly by: I am the father of two raisin-coloured little heirs. I wish I could persuade my wife not to wear the kitchen poker suspended from her neck." [_An interval of ten years is finally supposed to elapse._ "Despair! Despair! Why did not the 'Matchmaker' arrive a few years sooner? She is laden with the loveliest cream-coloured Circassians. "DEATH OR BIGAMY!" [Illustration: FELLOWS, OF THE ZOOLOGICAL SOCIETY. ] AN INVITATION TO THE ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS. (BY A GENTLEMAN WITH A SLIGHT IMPEDIMENT IN HIS SPEECH.) [Illustration] I have found out a gig-gig-gift for my fuf-fuf——fair, I have found where the rattle-snakes bub-bub——breed. Won't you c-c-c-come, and I'll show you the hub-bub——bear, And the lions and tit-tit——tigers at fuf-fuf-fuf——feed. I know where the c-c-c-co——cockatoo's song Makes mum-mum-mum——melody through the sweet vale; Where the m——monkeys gig-gig——grin all the day long, Or gracefully swing by the tit-tit-tit-tit—tail. You shall pip-pip——play, dear, some did-did——delicate joke, With the bub-bub——bear on the tit-tit——top of his pip-pip-pip—— pole; But observe, 'tis for-for-for——bidden to pip-pip——poke At the bub-bub——bear with your pip-pip——pink pip-pip-pip-pip—— parasol. You shall see the huge elephant pip-pip-pip——play; You shall gig-gig-gaze on the stit-tit——ately racoon, And then did-did——dear together we'll stray, To the cage of the bub-bub——blue fuf-fuf-fac'd bab-bab-bab——boon. You wish'd (I r-r-r——remember it well, And I l-l-l-lov'd you the m-m-more for the wish) To witness the bub-bub-bub——beautiful pip-pip——pel- -ican swallow the l-l-live l-l-l-little fuf-fuf——fish.