The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
3. The rolling-pin of the "Victim of Unmerited Seduction" of the Royal
Victoria Theatre.
4. The washing-bill of the Bosjemen for the delightful fortnight they
honoured my country villa at Islington with their refreshing presence.
5. The cheval-glass in which Tom Thumb admired himself the memorable day
he dined with me.
6. The head-dress of one of the Ojibbeways.
7. The long-bow which the celebrated African traveller, Gordon
Cumming-it-too-strong, pulled after dinner whilst the muffins were being
handed round.
8. Ten door-knockers, of the lion's head pattern, sent me by the
spirited young Marquis of Hungerford after the night of my evening
party, one of them being my own, and the other ones belonging to Nos. 1
to 9 inclusive. Capital.
9. The clay pipe smoked by the celebrated German poet Kramm, after he
had recited his master-piece, in ten books, of the "Oneness of Germany".
10. The false calves of Adolphe Pétard, _premier danseur de l'Opéra et
de monde_.
11. A turnpike-ticket (belonging to the Westminster Road toll) of Mr. N.
T. Hicks, the 79th night he played _Mazeppa_.
A LEAF OUT OF LEDRU ROLLIN'S BOOK.
"In my celebrated book (which, I regret to say, has already proved the
ruin of my French publisher) I have left out many examples of the
'Decline of England,' which I now hasten to supply.
"With what examples of thy perfidy, O Albion! shall I begin? Indeed,
they are so numerous that I would as soon essay to reckon the grains of
sand in one of thy tubs of sugar, as count them.
"Hast thou any Coffee? No! it is all Chicory, thou art too poor to drink
coffee as the brave Parisians drink it, and though the doctors say
chicory is good for the health, I hold that it is one of the causes of
thy 'Decline.'
"Thou art so poor, too, that lately thou hast been obliged to cut off
the skirts of thy officers' jackets, to make trousers, I suppose, for
thy miserable soldiers.
[Illustration:
THE SICK BRITISH LION AND THE FRENCH QUACK MONKEY.
]
[Illustration:
BRITANNIA PAWNING HER TRIDENT.
]
[Illustration:
JOHN BULL ON HIS LAST LEGS.
]