The clubs become empty about this time, therefore it is a good opportunity of asking any friend of uncouth or disreputable appearance to dine with you, as he will only afford amusement to the servants instead of the members, which is not likely to be so painful to your feelings. Freshmen go up to the Universities, and may be expected to come down upon their governors with heavy bills. Medical students walk the Hospitals, and run into debt. [Illustration] THE NEW MAGAZINE MACHINE. This novel application of mechanism, to the purposes of periodical publications, is the invention of an ingenious _littérateur_. The hoppers above being fed with subject of all sorts, from "Criminal Trials" to "Joe Millers," the handle is turned, and the fountain-pens immediately begin to write articles upon everything. The idea has been taken from the _Eureka_, but very much elaborated. The demand for "Virtuous Indignation" is very great just now; hence all blue-eyed, shoeless infants, taken up for stealing, street-vagabonds, and rascally poachers (whose punishment it is the fashion to call "the wrongs of the poor man"), will fetch good prices, by applying to publishers generally. TUBAL CAIN. BY CHARLES MACKAY. [_To be sung by Mr. H. Russell._] Old Tubal Cain was a cunning file, In the days when men were green; But not till night, when the gas burnt bright, Was he ever to be seen. And he fashioned reports for the daily press, Of sudden deaths and fire; But a penny a line by his industry Was all he could acquire. And he sang, "Hurrah! for my handiwork Hurrah! for the street called Bow; Hurrah! for the tin that its office brings, When pockets run rather low!" But a sudden thought came into his head, As he gazed on the _Evening Sun_; And he thought, as its lists of new lines he read, That a great deal might be done. He saw that men whom nobody knew Soon swallowed up every share; And he said to himself, "I will do so too, And date my note 'Eaton Square!'" And he sang, "Hurrah! for my handiwork; As he posted it then and there; Not for wealth and trade were the new lines made," And he _stagged_ the first railway share! And for many a night did Tubal Cain write, In the tap of the "Cheshire Cheese;" And the penny stamp, with paste still damp, Procured him his scrip with ease. And he rose at last, with a cheerful face, To seek his own house and grounds; For he very soon made, by his capital trade, Above twenty thousand pounds!