He went out of the flat. She sent no message. He did not return.
After a while, a lawyer came and equitably adjusted joint financial
responsibilities. And that was the end of the romance--if romance it
could be termed. From that day to this, Harry Shileto had vanished
from her ken.
His exit had been the end of the romance; but it had marked the
beginning of tragedy. A man can love and, however justifiably, ride
away--gloriously free. But the woman, for all her clamoring
insistence, has to pay the debt from which man is physically exempt.
Harry Shileto had already arrived in Canada when Camilla discovered the
dismaying fact of her sex's disability. But her pride kept her silent,
and of the child born in secret and dead within a fortnight, Harry
Shileto never heard. Then, after a few months of dejection and loss of
bearings and lassitude, the war thundered on the world. Her friend,
John Donovan, the surgeon, was going out to France. She went to him
and said: "I've wasted my time. It will take years for me to qualify.
Let me go out and nurse." So, through his influence, she had stepped
into the midst of the suffering of the war, and there she still
remained and found great happiness in great work.
At length she drew her hands from her brow and went and poured out some
water, for her throat was parched. On catching sight of herself in the
mirror, she paused. She was pale and worn, and there were hollows
beneath her eyes, catching shadows, but the war had not altogether
marred her face. She took off her uniform-cap and revealed dark hair,
full and glossy. She half wondered why the passage of a hundred years
had not turned it white. Then she sat again on the bed and gripped her
hands together.
"My God, what am I going to do?"
Had she loved him? She did not know. Her association with him could
not have been entirely the callous execution of a social theory. There
must have been irradiating gleams. Or had she wilfully excluded them
from her soul? Once she had needed him and cried for him; but that was
in an hour of weakness which she had conquered. And now, how could she
face him? Still less, live in that terrible intimacy of patient and
nurse? Oh, the miserable shame of it! All her womanhood shivered.
Yet she must go through the ordeal. His bandaged eyes promised a short
time of probation.
In the morning, after a restless night, she pulled herself together.
After all, what need for such a commotion? If the three and a half
years of war had not taught her dignity and self-reliance, she had
learned but little.
There were four beds in the ward. Two on the right were occupied by
officers, one with an arm-wound, another with a hole through his body.
The third on the left by a pathetic-looking boy with a shattered knee,
which, as the night Sister told her, gave him unceasing pain. The
fourth by Major Shileto. To him she went first and whispered:
"I'm the day Sister. What kind of a night have you had?"