Finally Johnson swore "by the eternal" (he got that noshun from the first A.J., wich he thinks he resembles, coz his innitials is the same, and coz the original vetoed a bill wunst) that he wood hev the Presidency, and gobbled it. Seward, he snatched at it, and they tussled. The company stood by to see it out, for it made but little difference to them wich got it. In the skrimage Johnson happened to ram Seward up agin a window on the north side uv the room, and smashed it out. Jest then a blast uv north wind poured into the room through the aperture, and blowed onto the face uv the corpse. The effect was electrikle. Life ran through his veins, his face flushed, and the livid hue was changed to the ruddy glow uv health. The dead wuz alive; the giant raised to his feet, and looked around him, shakin off them ez wuz a hangin to him like insex. Noticin the trinket wich hed caused the skrimage in Johnson's hand, he took him by the neck, and twistin it out uv his hand, flung him gently through the winder. "I ain't made up my mind who to give this to, but yoo bet it ain't yoo," sed he. "Willyum," sed he, turnin to Seward, "I'm surprised at yoo. Wuz this bauble the price uv yoor honesty and yoor principle? Go, Willyum! Ez for yoo, Doolittle, yoo never wuz half baked; yoo, Thurlow, put Raymond in your vest pocket, and quit the presence. Yoo, Jim Lane, I leave to the tender mercies uv my friends in Kansas. Clear out the balance uv this rabble, and send for my friends. I've bin pizened, and smothered, and stunk nigh to death. Clear out the house, and sweep it, and sprinkle chloride uv lime; and sich, all over it. Shut down them Southern windows, and open those on the North, East, and West sides. I want a snuff uv fresh air, for I--" At this pint I awoke, and found myself, not in the White House, but on the steps thereof, cold and shiverin. In my pocket wuz the papers wich didn't get me the post orifis I wuz seekin, and in my mind wuz chaotic confusion. Wuz the dream prophetic, or wuz it merely a vagary uv the mind, wich, wen loosed from its clay, sores off onto its own hook, without any restraint. Is the giant Republican actually dead, or is he in a trance? Will it arise, and scatter them ez hez appinted themselves administrators uv its estate, and wich are beginnin to divide the assets, or will he stay ded? Wood, oh wood, that I knowed! PETROLEUM V. NASBY, Lait Paster uv the Church uv the Noo Dispensashun. XVII. A Kentucky Tea Party.--Opinion entertained by Mrs. Deacon Pogram of Charles Sumner.--Discussion between Mrs. Deacon P. and an Illinois Store-keeper of the name of Pollock.--Miscegenation. CONFEDRIT x ROADS (wich is in the Stait uv Kentucky), April 1, 1866.