"My dear sir," I remarked, "yoo don't make the proper distinction, or, rather, yoo don't appreciate the subjick at all. The nigger here sustains only one character with us,--that uv a inferior bein, the slave uv the hawty Caucashen, uv whom we are the noblest specimens; that is, the Deekin is, he bein a Southerner. I unfortunately wuz born in the North, and am a hawty Caucashen only by adoption. To marry a nigger wood be to destroy our idea uv sooperiority, for we marry only our ekals. The intercourse with em, the results uv wich yoo see indications, bein outside uv the pale uv matrimony, is not, ez yoo wood suppose, the result uv unbrideled licentiousnis, but is merely the assertion uv our superiority. When the lordly Caucashen (uv whom the Deekin is wich) bids a daughter uv Ham (wich, in the orginal Hebrew, signifies the hind-quarter uv a hog) come to him, and she doth it not, he breaks her head, wich inculcates obedience. One is only a slave indeed when he surrenders all his individyooel rites. The female slave cannot be considered ez entirely subdooed until she hez yielded to her owner everything. To marry em wood be to elevate em; the intercourse common among us is not a sin, it bein merely the assertion uv that superiority wich we claim is founded on the Holy Scripter. See Onesimus, Hagar, and Ham." "Yes," sed the Deekin, who wuz now on the right track; "it's a assertion uv our sooperiority; it's a dooty every white man owes to his class, and I, for one, will alluz--" "Let me ketch yoo at it, Gabe Pogram," shouted Mrs. P., "and I'll give you sich a cat-haulin ez yoo never--drat yoor sooperiority, and yoor Ham, and yoor Caucashen. Niggers is niggers, and--" Noticin that Mrs. Pogram hedn't quite arrived at the proper pitch uv self-sacrifice, I turned the discussion onto Sumner agin, ez a subjick upon wich they cood all agree.