She rose, opened the piano and began to play the “Invitation à la
Valse”, as far as the famous passage in the major which always stopped
her. Was it through force of habit, or was it to remind me of the day
when we first met? All I know is that the melody brought back that
recollection, and, coming up to her, I took her head between my hands
and kissed her. “You forgive me?” I said.
“You see I do,” she answered; “but observe that we are only at our
second day, and already I have had to forgive you something. Is this
how you keep your promise of blind obedience?”
“What can I do, Marguerite? I love you too much and I am jealous of the
least of your thoughts. What you proposed to me just now made me
frantic with delight, but the mystery in its carrying out hurts me
dreadfully.”
“Come, let us reason it out,” she said, taking both my hands and
looking at me with a charming smile which it was impossible to resist,
“You love me, do you not? and you would gladly spend two or three
months alone with me in the country? I too should be glad of this
_solitude à deux_, and not only glad of it, but my health requires it.
I can not leave Paris for such a length of time without putting my
affairs in order, and the affairs of a woman like me are always in
great confusion; well, I have found a way to reconcile everything, my
money affairs and my love for you; yes, for you, don’t laugh; I am
silly enough to love you! And here you are taking lordly airs and
talking big words. Child, thrice child, only remember that I love you,
and don’t let anything disturb you. Now, is it agreed?”
“I agree to all you wish, as you know.”
“Then, in less than a month’s time we shall be in some village, walking
by the river side, and drinking milk. Does it seem strange that
Marguerite Gautier should speak to you like that? The fact is, my
friend, that when this Paris life, which seems to make me so happy,
doesn’t burn me, it wearies me, and then I have sudden aspirations
toward a calmer existence which might recall my childhood. One has
always had a childhood, whatever one becomes. Don’t be alarmed; I am
not going to tell you that I am the daughter of a colonel on half-pay,
and that I was brought up at Saint-Denis. I am a poor country girl, and
six years ago I could not write my own name. You are relieved, aren’t
you? Why is it you are the first whom I have ever asked to share the
joy of this desire of mine? I suppose because I feel that you love me
for myself and not for yourself, while all the others have only loved
me for themselves.
“I have often been in the country, but never as I should like to go
there. I count on you for this easy happiness; do not be unkind, let me
have it. Say this to yourself: ‘She will never live to be old, and I
should some day be sorry for not having done for her the first thing
she asked of me, such an easy thing to do!’”
What could I reply to such words, especially with the memory of a first
night of love, and in the expectation of a second?