Deadlock : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 6 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Deadlock : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 6
John Stuart Mill · en
“She has had an awful time. She was left penniless in Weymouth.”
“That is bad; but it is no cause for _stupidity_.”
“I know. She doesn’t understand. She managed quite well with lodgers;
she will never make boarders pay. It’s no use giving her hints. The
house is full of people who don’t pay their bills. There are people here
who have paid nothing for eighteen months. She has even lent them
money.”
“Is it possible?” he said gravely.
“And the Irish journalist _can’t_ pay. He is a home-ruler.”
“He is a most distinguished-looking man. Ah but she is _stupid_.”
“She can’t _see_” said Miriam--he was _interested_; even in _these_
things. She dropped eagerly down amongst them. The whole evening and all
their earlier interchange stood far off, shedding a relieving light over
the dismal details and waiting to be resumed, enriched by this sudden
excursion--“that when better people come she ought to alter things. It
isn’t that she would think it wrong, like the doctor who felt guilty
when he bought a carriage to make people believe he had patients, though
of course speculation _is_ wrong”--she felt herself moving swiftly
along, her best memories with her in the cheerful ring of her voice,
their quality discernible by him, a kind of reply to all he had told
her--“because she believes in keeping up appearances; but she doesn’t
know how to make people comfortable.” She was creating a wrong
impression but with the right voice. Without Miss Scott’s suggestions,
the discomforts would never have occurred to her.
“Ah she is _stupid_. That is the whole thing.” He sat forward stretching
and contracting his hands till the muscles cracked; his eyes, flashing
their unconcerned contemptuous judgment, were all at once the brilliant
misty eyes of a child about to be quenched by sudden sleep.
“_No_,” she said resentfully, “she wants good people, and when they come
she has to make all she can out of them. If they stayed she would be
able to afford to do things better. Of course they don’t come back or
recommend her; and the house is always half empty. Her _best_ plan would
be to fill it with students at a fixed low figure.” Miss Scott again
...... his attention was wandering... “The dead _flowers_,” he was back
again, “in dirty water in a cracked vase; Sissie rushing out, while
breakfast is kept waiting, to buy just enough butter for one meal.”
“Really?” he giggled.
“She has been most awfully good to me.”
“Why not?” he chuckled.
“Do you think you will go and see your Polish friend to-morrow?” She
watched anxiously.
“Yes” he conceded blinking sleepily at the end of a long yawn. “I shall
perhaps go.”
“He might be driven to desperation” she muttered. Her accomplished
evening was trembling in the balance. Its hours had frittered away the
horrible stranger’s chance.