422. A scholar of Dr. Busby’s coming into a parlour where the doctor had laid a fine bunch of grapes for his own eating, took it up and said aloud, I publish the banns between these grapes and my mouth; if any one knows any just cause or impediment why these two should not be joined together, let them declare it. The doctor, being but in the next room, overheard all that was said, and coming into the school, he ordered the boy who had eaten his grapes to be taken up, or, as they called it, horsed on another boy’s back; but before he proceeded to the usual discipline, he cried out aloud, as the delinquent had done: I publish the banns between my rod and this boy’s breech, if any one knows any just cause or impediment why these two should not be joined together, let them declare it. I forbid the banns, cried the boy. Why so? said the doctor. Because the parties are not agreed, replied the boy. Which answer so pleased the doctor, who loved to find any readiness of wit in his scholars, that he ordered the boy to be set down. 423. The late Sir Robert Henley, who was commonly pretty much in debt, walking one day with two or three other gentlemen in the Park, was accosted by a tradesman, who took him aside for a minute or two, and when the baronet rejoined his company, he seemed to be in a great passion, which his friends taking notice of, asked him what was the matter? Why the rascal, said he, has been dunning me for money I have owed him these seven years, with as much impudence as if it was a debt of yesterday. 424. The late Mr. D―t, the player, a man of great humanity, as will appear by the story, having heard that his landlady’s maid had cut her throat with one of his razors, of which an account was brought to him behind scenes at the time of the play; D―t, with great concern and emotion, cried out, Zoons, I hope it was not with my best razor! 425. Joe Haines, the player, being asked what could transport Mr. Collier into so blind a zeal for the general suppression of the stage, when only some particular authors had abused it; whereas the stage, he could not but know, was generally allowed, when rightly conducted, to be a delightful method of mending the morals? For that reason, replied Haines; Collier is, by profession, a moral-mender himself, and two of a trade, you know, can never agree. 426. Some gentlemen being at a tavern together, for want of better diversion, one proposed play; but, said another of the company, I have fourteen good reasons against gaming. What are they? said another. In the first place, answered he, I have no money. Oh! said the other, if you had four hundred reasons, you need not name another.