If the Kingdom of Heaven was like a mustard-seed two thousand years ago, it has not changed its appearance any since; it seems so small now-a-days that it is pretty hard to find down here below. The Women and the Bill. (EXPLANATORY NOTE:--The press reports state that the women of America are strenuously opposing the statehood bill, and demanding that it provide for Equal Suffrage and Prohibition in the new state.) It was years and years in coming, but it hove in sight at last, And we hoped our cares were over and our disappointments past; It was fought for on the hustings, in the platforms was declared, And with all the big campaigners it has every honor shared; And we thought we surely had it where no evil hands could kill, Till the women went to knocking on the Statehood Bill! Don't the last of you remember how we whooped it up with might Through the speeches of the daytime and orations of the night; How resolved and re-resolved, and then resolved again, That our people were the people, and our men the very men? And we shouted out the story of our deeds with honest will;-- But the women now are knocking on the Statehood Bill! Don't you now recall distinctly how we speechified till hoarse, Trying to convince the people what was just the proper course? How much time and toil we lavished in the beauty of our schemes Just to save the state from danger to the dearness of our dreams! But, alas! we see the finish! And alas! for manly skill! For the women all are knocking on the Statehood Bill! We have seen the new star rising from the territorial seas, We have seen it mount the zenith where the old flag split the breeze; And we boasted of our glories in rejoicings grand and great As we thought we raced for honors in the new-created state! Vanished now the dreams of sal'ry and the offices to fill, For the women all are knocking on the Statehood Bill! O, the grave and mighty Senate! Mr. Beveridge mighty too! We can understand your pickle and we know just what you'll do; There is only one escaping, only one to ransom us From the rumpus we have kicked up and the madness of the muss: Give the women all they ask for! We were chumps to treat them ill.-- We're undone if they keep knocking on the Statehood Bill! A Hard Winter Ahead. "Yessuh, we am lookin' foh de hahdest wintah dis yeah dar hez bin foh a long time; but ef de neighbohs keeps on erraisin' chickens en de possums doan't git too scahse, I belieb we kin pull thew toh grass widout a-sellin' ob de houn' pup!" The Charity Ball.