The Lintoffs' voices broke out together, chalkily smooth and toneless
against the cockney sounds vibrating in the crowded space, _all_ harsh
and strident, _all_ either facetious or wrangling. Their eyes had come
back. But they themselves were absent, set far away, amongst their
generalisations. Of the actual life of the passing moment they felt no
more than Michael. Itself, its uniqueness, the deep loop it made, did
not exist for them. They looked only towards the future. He only at a
uniform pattern of humanity.
Yet within the air itself was all the time the something that belonged
to everybody; that could be universally recognised; disappearing at once
with every outbreak of speech that sought only for distraction, from
embarrassment or from tedium.... She sat lifeless, holding for comfort
as she gathered once more, even with these free Russians, the proof of
her perfect social incompatibility, to the thought that this endurance
was the last. These were the last hours of wandering out of the course
of her being.... She felt herself grow pale and paler, sink each moment
more utterly out of life. The pain in her brow pressed upon her eyelids
like a kind of sleep. She must be looking quite horrible. Was there
anyone, anywhere, who suffered quite in this way, felt always and
everywhere so utterly different?
Tea came bringing the end of the trio of Russian phrases. Michael began
to dispense it, telling the Lintoffs that they had discovered that the
English did not know how to drink tea. Ardent replies surged at the back
of her mind; but speech was a faraway mystery. She clung to Michael's
presence, the sight of his friendly arm handing the cup she could not
drink; to the remembered perfection of his acceptance of failures and
exhaustions ... mechanically she was speaking French ... appearing
interested and sincere; caring only for the way the foreign words gave a
quality to the barest statement by placing it in far-off surroundings,
giving it a life apart from its meaning, bearing her into a tide of
worldly indifference....
But real impressions living within her own voice came crowding upon her,
overwhelming the forced words, opening abysses, threatening complete
flouting of her surroundings. She snatched at them as they passed before
her, smiled her vanishing thread of speech into inanity, and sat silent,
half turned towards the leaping reproachful shapes of thought,
inexpressible to these people waiting with faces set only towards swift
replies. Madame Lintoff made a fresh departure in her moaning sweetly
querulous voice ... a host of replies belonged to it, all contradicting
each other. But there was a smooth neat way of replying to a thing like
that, leading quickly on to something that would presently cancel it ...
quite simple people.... Mrs. Bailey, saying wonderful things without
knowing it.