"Would it have been better for me if you had?" I inquired. "Is the
integrity which is dependent upon one's happiness, or the sympathy of
friends, one that a woman can trust to under all circumstances of
temptation or trial?"
"I do not know," he muttered. "I think it would stand firm with you for
its safeguard and shield." Then, as he saw me draw back with an
assumption of coldness I was far from feeling, added gently: "But it
was not you, but Rhoda Colwell, I met two years ago, and I know you too
well, appreciate you too well, to lay aught but my sincerest homage at
your feet, in the hope that, whatever I may have been in the past, the
future shall prove me to be not unworthy of your sympathy, and possibly
of your regard."
And, as if he felt the stress of the interview becoming almost too
great for even his strength, he turned away from me and began gathering
up the toggery that lay upon the floor.
"These must not remain here," he observed, bitterly.
But I, drawn this way and that by the most contradictory emotions, felt
that all had not been said which should be in this important and
possibly final interview. Accordingly, smothering personal feeling and
steeling myself to look only at my duty, I advanced to his side, and,
indicating with a gesture the garments he was now rolling up into a
compact mass, remarked:
"This may or may not involve you in some unpleasantness. Rhoda Colwell,
who evidently attaches much importance to her discoveries, is not the
woman to keep silent in their regard. If she speaks and forces me to
speak, I must own the truth, Mr. Pollard. Neither sympathy nor regard
could hold me back; for my honor is pledged to the cause of Mr.
Barrows, and not even the wreck of my own happiness could deter me from
revealing any thing that would explain his death or exonerate his
memory. I wish you to understand this. God grant I may never be called
upon to speak!"
It was a threat, a warning, or a danger for which he was wholly
unprepared. He stared at me for a moment from his lowly position on the
floor, then slowly rose and mechanically put his hand to his throat, as
if he felt himself choking.
"I thank you for your frankness," he murmured, in almost inaudible
tones. "It is no more than I ought to have expected; and yet--" He
turned abruptly away. "I am evidently in a worse situation than I
imagined," he continued, after a momentary pacing of the floor. "I
thought only my position in your eyes was assailed; I see now that I
may have to defend myself before the world." And, with a sudden change
that was almost alarming, he asked if Rhoda Colwell had intimated in
any way the source of whatever information she professed to have.
I told him no, and felt my heart grow cold with new and undefined fears
as he turned his face toward the front of the building, and cried, in a
suppressed tone, full of ire and menace: