The Millionaire Baby — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Millionaire Baby
John Stuart Mill · en
I did not carry her this time across the driveway; but when we parted in
the library, where I always spent an hour before retiring, I picked out
a lily from a vase of flowers standing on my desk and held it out to
her. She stared at it for a moment, quite as white as the lily, then she
slowly put out her hand and took it. I felt no mercy after that, and
bade her good-night with the remark that I should have to write far into
the morning, and that she need not worry over my light, which I should
not probably put out till she was half through with her night's rest.
For answer, she dropped the lily. I found it next morning lying withered
and brown, in the hall-way.
That light did burn far into the morning; but I was not there to trim
it. Before the fatal hour had struck, I had left the house and made my
way to the pavilion. As I crossed the sward I saw the gleam of a lantern
at the masthead of a small boat riding near our own landing-place, and I
understood where he was at this hour, and by what route he hoped to take
my darling. "A route she will never travel," thought I, striving to keep
out of my mind and conscience the vision of another route, another
travel, which that sweet young body might take if my mood held and my
purpose strengthened.
There was no moon that night, and the copse in which our pavilion stands
was like a blot against the starless heavens. As I drew near it, my dog,
the invariable companion of my walks, lifted a short, sharp bark from
the stables. But I knew whose hand had fastened him, and I went on
without giving him a thought. At the door of the pavilion I stopped. All
was dark within as without, and the silence was something to overwhelm
the heart. She was not there then, nor was he. But he would be coming
soon, and up or down between the double hedge-rows.
I went to meet him. It was a small detail, but possibly a necessary one.
In her eyes he was probably handsome and gifted with all that I openly
lacked. But he was shallow and small for a man like me to be concerned
about. I laughed inwardly and with very conceivable scorn as I heard the
faint fall of his footsteps in the darkness. It was nearly two and he
meant to be prompt.
Our coming together in that narrow path was very much what I expected it
to be. I had put out my arms and touched the hedge on either side, so
that he could not escape me. When I heard him drawing close, I found
the voice I had not had for her, and observed very quietly and with the
cold politeness of a messenger:
"My wife finds herself indisposed since the ball, and begs to be excused
from joining you in the pleasant sail you proposed to her."
That, and no more; except that when he started and almost fell into my
arms, I found strength to add:
"The wind blows fresh to-night; you will have no difficulty in leaving
this shore. The difficulty will be to return."