It wasn't a very brilliant, nor a very original remark, but it was the
very luckiest thing he could have hit upon. Its effect on Jill was
marvellous; she recollected what she might have remembered sooner, that
he had been passing through very stormy times lately, and all on her
account. A man does not generally relish breaking with his family and
throwing up a luxurious home for the doubtful prospect of earning his
own living when he has not been brought up to any profession, and hasn't
a superabundance of capital to launch him into a going concern. St.
John had certainly not relished it, but he had made no complaint and had
met his ill fortune with a cheerfulness and pluck which did him infinite
credit. Jill mopped her eyes again vigorously and put both arms around
his neck.
"I have been horrid," she said; "I have done nothing but worried you
ever since you came, and you were worried enough before. Jack dear, I'm
afraid we shall quarrel dreadfully after we are married. I really am
bad-tempered, and you are not--not altogether amiable, are you?"
St. John laughed.
"I don't care," he said, "so long as we make it up again. Rows are like
hills in cycling, beastly at first, but when you're used to 'em a flat
road seems dreadfully monotonous."
Jill saw very little of her fiance during the next week. He was busy
looking for something to do! for she had declared that until he found
permanent occupation their marriage must be postponed; she was not going
to take such a serious plunge on the strength of the five hundred
pounds. St. John acknowledged the wisdom of her decision but chafed at
the delay. Having been ejected from the paternal roof he was anxious to
have a home of his own, and more than anxious to see Jill at the head of
his frugal board. He was not quite sure how Jill existed; it worried
him rather to think of her poverty; but she would take no assistance
from him. Once he deprecatingly offered her a ten pound note which she
however firmly refused. She would not allow him to support her until he
had the right to do so.
"Don't you think that that's rather straining at a gnat?" he said.
"Perhaps," she answered smiling. "But you would not like to think that
your coming had lessened my pride and independence, and made me lazy and
unselfreliant, would you? If I actually need assistance I will come to
you, dear old boy."