I told you we were happy, and nothing proves it more than the
uneasiness we feel upon the least change in our situation: if it were
not true, why should two days separation give us so much pain? I say
_us_, for I know my friend shares my impatience; he feels my
uneasiness, and is unhappy upon his own account; but to tell me this
were now superfluous.
We have been in the country since last night only; the hour is not yet
come in which I should see you if I were in town; and yet this
distance makes me already find your absence almost insupportable. If
you had not prohibited geometry, I should say, that my inquietude
increases in a compound ratio of the intervals of time and space; so
sensible am I that the pain of absence is increased by distance. I
have brought with me your letter, and your plan of study, for my
meditation; I have read the first already twice over, and own I was a
good deal affected with the conclusion. I perceive, my dear friend,
that your passion deserves the name of real love, because you still
preserve your sense of honour, and are capable of sacrificing every
thing to virtue. To delude a woman in the disguise of her preceptor is
surely, of all the wiles of seduction, the most unpardonable; and he
must have very little resource in himself, who would attempt to move
his mistress by the assistance of romance. If you had availed yourself
of philosophy to forward your designs, or if you had endeavoured to
establish maxims favourable to your interest, those very methods of
deceit would soon have undeceived me; but you have more honesty, and
are therefore more dangerous. From the first moment I perceived in my
heart the least spark of love, and the desire of a lasting attachment,
I petitioned heaven to unite me to a man whose soul was amiable rather
than his person; for well I knew that the charms of the mind were
least liable to disgust, and that probity and honour adorn every
sentiment of the heart. I chose with propriety, and therefore, like
Solomon, I have obtained, not only what I asked for, but also what I
did not ask. I look upon this as a good omen, and I do not despair but
I shall, one day, have it in my power to make my dear friend as happy
as he deserves. We have indeed many obstacles to surmount, and the
expedients are slow, doubtful and difficult. I dare not flatter myself
too much; be assured, however, that nothing shall be forgotten which
the united efforts of love and patience can accomplish. Mean while,
continue to humour my mother, and prepare yourself for the return of
my father, who at last retires, after thirty years services. You must
learn to endure the haughtiness of a hasty old gentleman, jealous of
his honour, who will love you without flattering, and esteem you
without many professions.