Casinos -- Fiction; Fireworks -- Fiction; Mars (Planet) -- Fiction; Science fiction; Scientists -- Fiction; Short stories
Since the horoscopes being offered were about the only things on Mars
that didn't cost the tourists any money, the response was great. The
recipient of a horoscope found a mimeographed folder which contained
three pages describing the present positions of the planets, where to
look for Earth in the sky, and what science hoped to learn the next
time Mercury was in transit. The fourth page held the kicker. It said
that while the tourist's luck would be better than average at most
of the gambling houses, he would lose consistently if he played at
Harvey's Club.
Within two days the only people playing at Harvey's were the shills.
The following day, the visitors to the observatory included Harvey.
The gambler was welcomed with mingled respect for his money and
contempt for his occupation. He was taken immediately to see Dr.
Morton, who greeted him with a sly smile.
Harvey's conversation was brief and to the point. "How much?" he asked
waving a horoscope under Dr. Morton's nose.
"Just a promise," said the scientist. Harvey said nothing but looked
sullen. "You are on the Town Council," Morton continued. "Now, the next
time the question of tourist entertainment is discussed, we want you to
vote _against_ a fireworks display." He then explained how important
plates had been ruined by skyrocket trails.
Harvey listened with great interest, especially when Dr. Morton flatly
stated that each casino, in turn, would get the same publicity in the
horoscopes.
"The Council members are all for the tourists," Harvey commented, "and
you guys are supposed to be nuts, like all scientists. But I'll do like
you say." He reached into his pocket. "Here's fifty bucks. Use it for
a full page ad this time and do the Desert Sands Casino in your next
horoscope. And say--before I go, can I look through the telescope? I
never seemed to have the time before."
* * * * *
At weekly intervals, Dr. Morton "did" the Desert Sands; Frankland's
Paradise; the Martian Gardens; and the Two Moons Club. From each owner
he extracted the same promise--to vote against the fireworks at the
Council meetings.
The technique was settling down to a routine. Each victim came, made
the promise, paid for the following week's ad, named the next casino,
and was taken on a tour of the Observatory. Then disaster struck.
It took the form of an interplanetary telegram from Harvard
Observatory, their parent organization. It read:
EARTH NEWSPAPERS CARRYING ACCOUNTS OF HOROSCOPES PUBLISHED BY
YOUR ORGANIZATION VERY UNSCIENTIFIC MUST STOP AT ONCE FIND OTHER
SOLUTION
L K BELL DIRECTOR
Dr. Morton was eating alone in the staff dining room when he noticed a
familiar face beside him. "Harvey," he said. "Guess you've come down to
gloat over our misfortune."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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