John was so bad that the Pope decided to put the whole country under an Interdict, i.e. he gave orders that no one was to be born or die or marry (except in Church porches). But John was still not cured of his Badness; so the Pope sent a Bull to England to excommunicate John himself. In spite of the King’s efforts to prevent it the Bull succeeded in landing and gave orders that John himself was not to be born or marry or die (except in Church porches); that no one was to obey him or stand him a drink or tell him the right time or the answer to the Irish Question or anything nice. So at last John gave way and he and his subjects began once more to be born and to marry and to die, etc. etc. FOOTNOTES: [4] N.B.--The Irish Question at this time consisted of: (1) Some Norman Barons, who lived in a Pail (near Dublin). (2) The natives and Irish Chieftains, who were beyond Pail, living in bogs, beards, etc. CHAPTER XIX MAGNA CHARTER There also happened in this reign the memorable Charta, known as Magna Charter on account of the Latin _Magna_ (great) and Charter (a Charter); this was the first of the famous Chartas and Gartas of the Realm and was invented by the Barons on a desert island in the Thames called Ganymede. By congregating there, armed to the teeth, the Barons compelled John to sign the Magna Charter, which said: 1. That no one was to be put to death, save for some reason--(except the Common People). 2. That everyone should be free--(except the Common People). 3. That everything should be of the same weight and measure throughout the Realm--(except the Common People). 4. That the Courts should be stationary, instead of following a very tiresome mediæval official known as the _King’s Person_ all over the country. 5. That “no person should be fined to his utter ruin”--(except the King’s Person). 6. That the Barons should not be tried except by a special jury of other Barons who would understand. Magna Charter was therefore the chief cause of Democracy in England, and thus a _Good Thing_ for everyone (except the Common People). [Illustration: Utter Incompetence] After this King John hadn’t a leg to stand on and was therefore known as “John Lackshanks.” FINAL ACTS OF MISGOVERNMENT John finally demonstrated his utter incompetence by losing the Crown and all his clothes in the wash and then dying of a surfeit of peaches and no cyder; thus his awful reign came to an end. CHAPTER XX ROBIN HOOD AND HIS MERRIE MEN