William the Conqueror (1066) is memorable for having loved an old stag as if it was his father, and was in general very fond of animals: he therefore made some very just and conquering laws about the Forests. One of these laws said that _all the forests and places which were not already Possessions belonged to the King_ and that anyone found in them should _have his ears and legs cut off_--(these belonged to somebody else under the Feutile System, anyway)--and (if this had not already been done) should have his _eyes put out with red-hot irons_; after this the offender was allowed to fly the country. Another very conquering law made by William I said that everyone had to go to bed at eight o’clock. This was called the Curfew and was a Good Thing in the end since it was the cause of Gray’s Energy in the country churchyard (at Stoke Penge). Although in all these ways William the Conqueror (1066) was a very strong king he was eventually stumbled to death by a horse and was succeeded by his son Rufus. CHAPTER XII RUFUS. A RUDDY KING [Illustration: A Good Thing] This monarch was always very angry and red in the face and was therefore unpopular, so that his death was a Good Thing: it occurred in the following memorable way. Rufus was hunting one day in the New Forest, when William Tell (the memorable crack-shot, inventor of Cross-bow puzzles) took unerring aim at a reddish apple, which had fallen on to the King’s head, and shot him through the heart. Sir Isaac Walton, who happened to be present at the time, thereupon invented the Law of Gravity. Thus was the reign of Rufus brought to a Good End. CHAPTER XIII HENRY I. A TRAGIC KING Henry I was famous for his handwriting and was therefore generally called Henry Beau-geste. He was extremely fond of his son William, who was, however, drowned in the White City. Henry tried to console himself for his loss by eating a surfeit of palfreys. This was a Bad Thing since he died of it and _never smiled again_. CHAPTER XIV THE DREADFUL STORY OF STEPHEN AND HIS AUNT MATILDA (OR MAUD) The moment Stephen came to the throne it was realized that he was a mistake and had been christened wrong; thus everything was thrown into confusion. Stephen himself felt quite uncalled for, and even his Aunt Matilda was able to take him in when she began announcing that she was the real King. Stephen, however, soon discovered that she had been malchristened, too, and was unable to say for certain whether her name was Matilda or Maud. After this Stephen and Matilda (or Maud) spent the reign escaping from each other over the snow in nightgowns while ‘God and His Angels slept.’ [Illustration: Lax State of Affairs]