After hailing the boat someone on our destroyer shouted, "Why didn't you get some more oars out?" A voice replied: "Don't be so funny. D'yer fink I'm a hoctopus? Our engines 'ave all conked aht." Which remark raised a laugh from the entire boatload. On getting closer alongside the tragedy dawned on us. This Cockney was the only man (out of about thirty) who was sound enough to handle an oar, and he only had one arm and a half.--_H. G. Vollor (late Ldg.-seaman, R.N.), 73 Playford-Road, Finsbury Park, N.4._ Interrupted Duel The C.O. of my ship had his own way of punishing men who were brought before him for fighting. He would send for the gunner's mate and tell him to have the two men up on the upper deck, in view of the ship's company, armed with single-sticks. The gunner's mate would get them facing each other, give them the first order of "Cutlass practice"--"Guard!" then "Loose play." At that order they would go for each other hammer and tongs till one gave in. Such a dispute had to be settled one day while we were patrolling the North Sea. The combatants were just getting warm to it when the alarm buzzers went--enemy in sight. The gunner's mate, who was refereeing the combat, said: "Pipe dahn, you two bounders. Hop it to your action stations, and don't forget to come back 'ere when we've seen them off." Fortunately they were both able to "come back."--_John M. Spring (late P.O., R.N.), Bank Chambers, Forest Hill, S.E.23._ Enter Dr. Crippen Our ship, the s.s. _Wellington_, was torpedoed on August 14, 1917, and we were a despondent crew in the only two boats. The U-boat that had sunk our ship appeared and we were wondering what was going to happen to us. As the U-boat bore down upon us my mate, Nigger Smith (from Shoreditch) spotted its commander, who wore large spectacles, on its conning tower bridge. "Blimey," said Nigger, "'ere's old Crippen!"--_J. Cane (late Gunner, R.M.), 73 Rahere Street, E.C.1._ The All-seeing Eye My pal Pincher and I volunteered out of the destroyer _Vulture_ for the Q-boats, and got detailed for the same mystery ship. After a lot of drills--"Abandon ship," "Panic crews away," etc.--we thought we were hot stuff. Knocking about the Channel one fine day the order came, "Panic crews to stations." Thinking it was drill, Pincher and I nipped into our boat, when the after fall carried away, letting Pincher, myself, and crew into the "drink." Pincher must have caught sight of the periscope of a U-boat, for on coming up (although he couldn't swim much) he said when I grabbed him: "Lumme, I'm in for fourteen penn'orth!" (14 days 10A, i.e. punishment involving extra work). "There's the skipper lookin' at me through 'is telescope, and they aven't piped 'ands to bathe yet."--_P. Willoughby (late R.N.), 186 Evelyn Street, S.E.8._ The Submarine's Gamps