While patrolling in the Sea of Marmora a British submarine came across several umbrellas floating in the sea, presumably from a sunken ship. Some of them were acquired by the crew. On the passage down the Dardanelles the submarine was damaged in the conning tower by gun-fire from the Turkish batteries, and water began to come in. At this critical stage I overheard one sailor remark to another, "I say, Bill, don't you think it is about time we put those blinkin' umbrellas up?"--_Naval officer retired, Hampstead, N.W.3._ Polishing up his German About January 15, 1915, we were on patrol duty in the North Sea. Near daybreak we came across a number of German drifters, with carrier pigeons on board, that were suspected of being in touch with submarines. We were steaming in line abreast, and the order was signalled for each ship to take one drifter in tow. Our Jerry objected to being towed to England, and cut our tow-rope, causing us a deal of trouble. Our captain was in a rage and shouted down from the bridge to the officer of the watch, "Is there anyone on board who can speak German?" The officer of the watch called back, "Yes, sir; Knight speaks German"--meaning an officer. So the captain turned to the bos'n's mate and said, "Fetch him." The bos'n's mate sends up Able Seaman "Bogey" Knight, to whom the captain says, over his shoulder: "Tell those fellows that I'll sink 'em if they tamper with the tow again." With a look of surprise Bogey salutes and runs aft. Putting his hands to his mouth. Bogey shouts: "Hi! there, drifterofsky, do yer savvy?" and makes a cut with his hand across his arm. "If yer makes de cut agin, I makes de shoot--(firing an imaginary rifle)--and that's from our skipper!" [Illustration: "I makes de shoot."] Bogey's mates laughed to hear him sprachen the German; but Jerry didn't cut the tow again.--_E. C. Gibson, 3 Slatin Road, Stroud, Kent._ 5. HERE AND THERE Answered We were a working party of British prisoners marching through the German barracks on our way to the parcel office. Coming towards us was a German officer on horseback. When he arrived abreast of us he shouted in very good English: "It's a long way to Tipperary, boys, isn't it?" This was promptly answered by a Cockney in the crowd: "Yus! And it's a ruddy long way to Paris, ain't it?"--_C. A. Cooke, O.B.E. (late R.N.D.), 34 Brandram Road, Lee High Road, S.E._ A Prisoner has the Last Laugh Scene: A small ward in Cologne Fortress, occupied by about twelve British prisoners of war. Time: The German M.O.'s inspection. Action: The new sentry on guard in the corridor had orders that all must stand on the M.O.'s entry. Seeing the M.O. coming, he called out to us. We jumped to it as best we could, except one, a Cockney, who had just arrived minus one leg and suffering from other injuries.