Our cable cart ladders, strapped to the sides of the lorry, caught the eyes of one wag. "Blimey, boys," he cried, "we're orl right nah; 'ere comes the blinkin' winder-cleaners."--_"Sigs.," Haslemere, Surrey._ First Blow It was outside Albert, during the Somme attack, that I met a lone Army Service Corps wagon, laden with supplies. One of the horses was jibbing, and the driver, a diminutive Cockney, was at its head, urging it forward. As I approached I saw him deliberately kick the horse in the flank. I went up to the man and, taking out notebook and pencil, asked him for his name, number, and unit, at the same time remonstrating with him severely. "I wasn't doin' 'im no 'arm," pleaded the man; "I've only got my gum-boots on, and, besides, 'e kicked me first." [Illustration: "An' besides, he kicked me first."] I tore up my entry, mounted my motor-cycle, and left an injured-looking driver rubbing a sore shin.--_R. D. Blackman (Capt., R.A.F.), 118 Abbey Road, St. John's Wood, N.W.6._ M.M. (Mounted Marine) After riding for several hours one wet, windy, and miserable night, with everyone soaked to the skin and fed up generally, we were halted in a field which, owing to the heavy rain, was more like a lake. On receiving the order to dismount and loosen girths, one of our number remained mounted and was busy flashing a small torch on the water when the sergeant, not too gently, inquired, "Why the dickens are you still mounted, and what the deuce are you looking for anyway?" To which a Cockney voice replied, "Blimey, sergeant, where's the landing stage?"--_"Jimmy" (late Essex Yeomanry)._ His German 'Arp Having been relieved, after our advance at Loos in 1915, we were making our way back at night. We had to pass through the German barbed wire, which had tins tied to it so that it rattled if anyone tried to pass it. Our sergeant got entangled in it and caused a lot of noise, whereupon a Cockney said: "You're orl right on the old banjo, sergeant, but when it comes to the German 'arp you're a blinkin' washaht."--_W. Barnes, M.M. (late 1st Bn. K.R.R.C.), 63 Streatfeild Avenue, East Ham._ [Illustration: "When it comes to the German 'arp you're a washaht."] Jack went a-Riding Early in 1916 we were on outpost duty at a place called Ayun Musa, about four miles east of Suez. One day a British monitor arrived in the Gulf of Suez, and we were invited to spend an hour on board as the sailors' guests. The next day the sailors came ashore and were our guests. [Illustration: "Don't ask me--ask the blinkin' 'oss."] After seeing the canteen most of them were anxious for a ride on a horse. So we saddled a few horses and helped our guests to mount. Every horse chose a different direction in the desert. One of the sailors was a Cockney. He picked a fairly fresh mount, which soon "got away" with him. He lost his reins and hung round the animal's neck for dear life as it went at full gallop right through the Camp Commandant's quarters.