Hearing the commotion, the Commandant put his head out of his bivouac and shouted, "What the dickens do you mean galloping through here?" Back came the retort, "Don't ask me--ask the blinkin' 'oss."--_H. F. Montgomery (late H.A.C.), 33 Cavenham Gardens, Ilford._ Bitter Memories During an attack near Beer-Sheba, Palestine, our regiment had been without water for over twenty-four hours. We were suffering very badly, as the heat was intense. Most of us had swollen tongues and lips and were hardly able to speak, but the company humorist, a Cockney, was able to mutter, "Don't it make you mad to fink of the times you left the barf tap running?"--_H. Owen (late Queen's Royal West Surrey Regt.), 18 Edgwarebury Gardens, Edgware, Middlesex._ Tommy "Surrounded" Them It was in July 1916. The Somme Battle had just begun. The troops in front of us had gone over the top and were pushing forward. We were in support and had just taken over the old front line. Just on our right was a road leading up and through the German lines. Looking up this road we saw a small squad strolling towards us. It was composed of four Germans under the care of a London Tommy who was strolling along, with his rifle under his arm, like a gamekeeper. It made quite a nice picture. When they reached us one of our young officers shouted out: "Are you looking for the hounds?" Then the Cockney started: "Blimey, I don't know abaht looking for 'ounds. I got four of 'em 'ere--and now I got 'em I don't know where to dump 'em." The officer said: "Where did you find them?" "I surrounded 'em, sir," was the reply. Our officer said: "You had better leave them here for the time being." "Right-o, sir," replied the Cockney. "You hang on to 'em until I come back. I'm going up the road to get some more. There's fahsends of 'em up there."--_R. G. Williams, 30 Dean Cottages, Hanworth Road, Hampton, Middlesex._ Shell-holes and Southend My pal (a Battersea boy) and I were two of a draft in 1916 transferred from the K.R.R.s to the R.I.R.s. On the first night in the trenches we were detailed for listening post. My pal said: "That's good. I'll be able to tell father what No Man's Land is like, as he asked me." After we had spent what was to me a nerve-wracking experience in the mud of a shell-hole, I asked him what he was going to tell his father. He said: "It's like Southend at low tide on the fifth of November."--_F. Tuohey (late 14th Batt. R.I.R.), 31 Winchester Road, Edmonton._ "Make Me a Good 'Orse" Having come out of action, we lay behind the line waiting for reinforcements of men and horses. The horses arrived, and I went out to see what they were like. I was surprised to see a Cockney, who was a good groom, having trouble in grooming one of the new horses. Every time he put the brush between its forelegs the animal went down on its knees. [Illustration: "Gawd bless farver an' make me a good 'orse."]