‘Pray say no more!’ exclaimed Mr Portland, as he prepared to leave her,
‘you’ve said more than enough, my pretty tigress, already; but the day
may come when you will regret that you treated my offer with so much
disdain. Young men’s fancies do not last for ever, my dear, and a good,
sound settlement is worth many vows. If Ilfracombe ever tires of you
(or rather let me say _when_ he tires of you), you will remember my
words. Meanwhile, luckily for me, there are as good fish in the sea as
ever came out of it. So good-bye, my handsome fury. Won’t you give me
one kiss before we part, just to show there’s no ill feeling? No? Well,
I must try to do without it then, for the present at least, and hope
for better luck next time. Remember me to old Ilfracombe when next you
write. Ta-ta.’
He lingered near her for a moment, as though expecting she would raise
her eyes or put out her hand; but Nell did neither, and, after a while,
he turned on his heel, and, insolently humming a tune, went on his way.
As soon as Miss Llewellyn heard the hall door close after him, she
rushed up to her own room, and, after locking the door, threw herself
on the sofa, face downwards, and sobbed and cried in the strength
of her wounded feelings and the terrible doubt which Mr Portland’s
words had seemed to imply. The servants came knocking at her door, and
worrying her to come down to luncheon, which was getting cold, in the
dining-room, but she would not stir nor speak to any of them.
It was the first time since her acquaintance with the Earl of
Ilfracombe that the untenability of her illegal position had been
brought so forcibly before her, and she felt all the more angry because
she had no right to feel angry at all. She believed implicitly in her
lover. She had accepted his assurances of fidelity as gospel truth, and
she was passionately indignant and sorely outraged because Mr Portland
had not considered the tie between her and his friend as inviolable as
she did. And yet she was _not_ Lord Ilfracombe’s wife. Beautiful Nell
Llewellyn knew this only too well as she lay on the couch, sobbing as
if her heart would break. Say what women will in these days of misrule
about the charms of liberty, and the horror of being enchained for
life, there is a comfortable sense of security in knowing oneself to be
honourably united to the man one loves; to have no need of concealment
or mis-stating facts; no necessity of avoiding one’s fellow men; no
fear of encountering insult from one’s inferiors in birth and morals,
because one does not wear a wedding-ring upon one’s finger--that
insignia of possession which is so insignificant and yet so powerful.
What would poor Nell Llewellyn not have given to have had one upon her
finger now?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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