A Bayard From Bengal: Being some account of the Magnificent and Spanking Career of Chunder Bindabun Bhosh,... — John Shaqi
A Bayard From Bengal: Being some account of the Magnificent and Spanking Career of Chunder Bindabun Bhosh,...Anstey, F.
General
A Bayard From Bengal: Being some account of the Magnificent and Spanking Career of Chunder Bindabun Bhosh,...
Anstey, F.
East Indians -- England -- Fiction; Humorous stories
Now the Princess was the solitary brat of a very wealthy merchant
prince, Honble Sir Monarch Jones, whose proud and palatial storehouses
were situated in the most fashionable part of Camden Town.
Sir Jones, in spite of Lord Jack's resignation, did not at first regard
Mr Bhosh with the paternal eye of approval, but rather advanced the
objection that the colour of his money was practically invisible. "My
daughter," he said haughtily, "is to have a lakh of rupees on her
nuptials. Have _you_ a lakh of rupees?"
Bindabun was tempted to make the rather facetious reply that he had,
indeed, a lack of rupees at the present moment.
Sir Monarch, however, like too many English gentlemen, was totally
incapable of comprehending the simplest Indian _jeu des mots_, and
merely replied. "Unless you can _show_ me your lakh of rupees, you
cannot become my beloved son-in-law."
So, as Mr Bhosh was a confirmed impecunious, he departed in severe
despondency. However, fortune favoured him, as always, for he made the
acquaintance of a certain Jewish-Scotch, whose cognomen was Alexander
Wallace McAlpine, and who kindly undertook to lend him a lakh of rupees
for two days at interest which was the mere bite of a flea.
Having thus acquired the root of all evil, Bindabun took it in a
four-wheeled cab and triumphantly exhibited his hard cash to Sir Jones,
who, being unaware that it was borrowed plumage, readily consented that
he should marry his daughter. After which Mr Bhosh honourably restored
the lakh to the accommodating Scotch minus the interest, which he found
it inconvenient to pay just then.
I am under great apprehensions that my gentle readers, on reading thus
far and no further, will remark: "Oho! then we are already at the
_finis_, seeing that when a hero and heroine are once booked for
connubial bliss, their further proceedings are of very mediocre
interest!"
Let me venture upon the respectful caution that every cup possesses a
proverbially slippery lip, and that they are by no means to take it as
granted that Mr Bhosh is so soon married and done for.
Remember that he still possesses a rather formidable enemy in Duchess
Dickinson, who is irrevocably determined to insert a spike in his wheel
of fortune. For a woman is so constituted that she can never forgive an
individual who has once treated her advances with contempt, no matter
how good-humoured such contempt may have been. No, misters, if you
offend a feminine you must look out for her squalls.
Readers are humbly requested not to toss this fine story aside under the
impression that they have exhausted the cream in its cocoanut. There are
many many incidents to come of highly startling and sensational
character.
CHAPTER VII
THE ADVENTURE OF THE UNWIELDY GIFTHORSE
When dormant lightning is pent in the polished hoofs of a colt,
And his neck is clothed with thunder,--then, horseman, beware of
the bolt!
_From the Persian, by H. B. J._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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