"No outsiders there--only just their own particular set!" said the Cocksparrow, when he came home after having been to tea with the Birds of Paradise. * * * * * The Elephant was dying of starvation, and a kind-hearted person presented him with an acidulated drop. _Note._--It is well-nigh incredible that any Philosopher should be so ignorant of Natural History as to imagine that any Elephant would accept an acid drop, even if it was on its last legs for want of nutrition. The conclusion of this anecdote would seem to be either lost, or unfit for publication.--H. B. J. * * * * * There was once a famous Violinist who serenaded his Mistress every evening, performing the most divine melodies upon his instrument. But all the while she was straining her ears to listen to a piano-organ round the corner which was playing "Good-bye, Dolly Gray!" * * * * * The Performing Lioness kisses her Trainer on the mouth--but only in public. * * * * * The Candle complained bitterly of the unpleasantness of seeing so many scorched moths in her vicinity. * * * * * "I have taken such a fancy to thee," said the Hawk genially to the Field-Mouse, "that I am going to put thee into a really good thing." And he opened his beak. * * * * * There are persons who have no sense of the fitness of things. Like the Grasshopper, who insisted on putting the Snail up for the Skipping Club. * * * * * The Cat scratched the Dog's nose out of sheer playfulness--but she had no time to explain. * * * * * "After all, it _is_ pleasant to be at home again!" said the Eagle's feathers on the shaft that pierced him. But the Eagle's reply is not recorded. _Note._--Poet Byron also mentions this incident.--H. B. J. * * * * * A certain Painter set himself to depict a lovely landscape. "See!" he cried, as he exhibited his canvas to a Passing Stranger, "doth not this my picture resemble the scene with exactitude?" "Since thou desirest to know," was the reply, "thou seemest to me to have portrayed nothing but a manure heap!" "And am _I_ to blame," exclaimed the indignant Painter, "if a manure heap chanced to be immediately in front of me?" * * * * * Before a Man marrieth a Woman he delighteth to describe unto her all his doings--even the most unimportant. But, after marriage, he considereth that such talk may savour too much of egotism. _Note._-This is very very shallow. I have never experienced any such compunctiousness with my own wives.--H. B. J. * * * * *