A Bayard From Bengal: Being some account of the Magnificent and Spanking Career of Chunder Bindabun Bhosh,...Anstey, F.
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A Bayard From Bengal: Being some account of the Magnificent and Spanking Career of Chunder Bindabun Bhosh,...
Anstey, F.
East Indians -- England -- Fiction; Humorous stories
Mr Bhosh was very soon enabled to make his _debût_ as a pleader, for the
_Mooktears_ sent him briefs as thick as an Autumn leaf in Vallambrosa,
and, having on one occasion to prosecute a youth who had embezzled an
elderly matron, Mr Bhosh's eloquence and pathos melted the jury into a
flood of tears which procured the triumphant acquittal of the prisoner.
But the bow of Achilles (which, as Poet Homer informs us, was his only
vulnerable point) must be untied occasionally, and accordingly Mr Bhosh
occasionally figured as the gay dog in upper-class societies, and was
not long in winning a reputation in smart circles as a champion bounder.
For he did greet those he met with a pleasant, obsequious affability and
familiarity, which easily endeared him to all hearts. In his appearance
he would--but for a somewhat mediocre stature and tendency to a
precocious obesity--have strikingly resembled the well-known statuary of
the Apollo Bellevue, and he was in consequence inordinately admired by
aristocratic feminines, who were enthralled by the fluency of his small
talk, and competed desperately for the honour of his company at their
"Afternoon-At-Home-Teas."
It was at one of these exclusive festivities that he first met the
Duchess Dickinson, and (as we shall see hereafter) that meeting took
place in an evil-ominous hour for our hero. As it happened, the
honourable highborn hostess proposed a certain cardgame known as "Penny
Napkin," and fate decreed that Mr Bhosh should sit contiguous to the
Duchess's Grace, who by lucky speculations was the winner of
incalculable riches.
But, hoity toity! what were his dismay and horror, when he detected that
by her legerdemain in double-dealing she habitually contrived to assign
herself five pictured cards of leading importance!
How to act in such an unprecedented dilemma? As a chivalrous, it was
repugnant to him to accuse a Duchess of sharping at cards, and yet at
the same time he could not stake his fortune against such a foregone
conclusion!
So he very tactfully contrived by engaging the Duchess's attention to
substitute his card-hand for hers, and thus effect the exchange which is
no robbery, and she, finally observing his _finesse_, and struck by the
delicacy with which he had so unostentatiously rebuked her duplicity,
earnestly desired his further acquaintance.
For a time Mr Bhosh, doubtless obeying one of those supernatural and
presentimental monitions which were undreamt of in the Horatian
philosophy, resisted all her advances--but alas! the hour arrived in
which he became as Simpson with Delilah.
It was at the very summit of the Season, during a brilliantly
fashionable ball at the Ladbroke Hall, Archer Street, Bayswater, whither
all the _élites_ of tip-top London Society had congregated.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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