He walked away, with a sad and tender feeling in his heart for the poor
foreign girl, whose beauty, youth and childlike charm had taken a strong
hold upon his mind. The annoying thought occurred to him that he had
been foolishly prudent and apprehensive of danger. He wondered if it
hadn't been a sort of coxcombry in him to think there was any danger to
her in free and frequent intercourse with him! As for the danger to
himself, that it was cowardly to think about. He wished he had acted
differently, and felt unreasonably troubled at having let the girl drift
beyond his knowledge. She had looked so young and appealing as he had
seen her last, seated on the rug with the kittens on her lap, and so
beautiful. No one he had seen before or since was as beautiful. The type
seemed almost unique. He knew her to be utterly ignorant of the world,
and he hated to think what experience might have taught her of it. He
ought to have looked after her more. The reproachful thought stung him.
He said to himself that he'd be a little more careful the next time he
felt inclined to occupy this high moral platform and be better than
other men! He ought to have seen that common kindness demanded a little
more of a man than this. He was completely self-disgusted, and
registered a sort of mental vow that if he ever found the young creature
again he would befriend her, if she were still in need of a friend, and
take the consequences. He was not so irresistible, he told himself, as
to be necessarily dangerous to the peace of mind of all the women of his
acquaintance. He had acted the part of a prig and he was well punished
for it.
Noel had altered in some ways since his former return from Europe. For
one thing his appearance had changed. He had now a thick, close-trimmed
beard, which made him look older and graver. There were some premature
gray hairs, also, in his close-cropped hair.
The weather was very hot, and his mother and sisters had gone at once to
their country house, but Noel lingered in town, although, socially, it
was almost deserted.
One afternoon of a very hot day, when the neighborhoods of soda
fountains alone were populous, and men walked about the streets
with umbrellas in one hand and palm-leaf fans in the other, with
coats open, hats pushed back and frequent manipulation of their
pocket-handkerchiefs, Noel, whose sense of propriety admitted of none
of these mitigations of the heat, was standing at a down-town crossing,
waiting for a car. He was going to his club to refresh himself with a
bath, order a dinner with plenty of ice accompanying it, and then take
a drive in the park behind a horse warranted to make a breeze. It was
getting intolerable in town, and he had just determined to leave it
to-morrow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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