A Bill of Divorcement: A Play in Three ActsDane, Clemence
General
A Bill of Divorcement: A Play in Three Acts
Dane, Clemence
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Drama; Families -- Drama; Man-woman relationships -- Drama; Mental illness -- Drama
GRAY. Well?
SYDNEY. [_Conspiratorially_] Make Kit late for church if you like.
GRAY. [_Putting himself in her hands_] I did promise him a lift.
SYDNEY. [_Settling it_] He can cut across the fields. [_Aloud_] Kit,
what about a bone for the angel? You might go and make love to Bassett.
[_She puts the dog into his arms. They stroll off together into the
inner room._]
KIT. [_Earnestly, as he goes out through the baize door_] He ought to be
kept to biscuits.
SYDNEY. [_Calling to him_] Just one to gnaw. [_Then, over her shoulder_]
Mother, the bells have been going quite a while.
MARGARET. [_To_ GRAY] Listen, don’t you love them?
GRAY. Church bells?
MARGARET. Wedding bells.
GRAY. Margaret, you’ve stepped straight out of a Trollope novel.
MARGARET. [_Flushing_] I suppose you think I’m sentimental.
GRAY. No, but you’re pure nineteenth century.
MARGARET. I’m not. [_Telephone bell rings_] Oh!
GRAY. There goes the twentieth. Don’t you see how it makes you jump?
SYDNEY _has gone to the telephone_.
SYDNEY. Hullo! Hullo!... You rang _me_ up. [_She hangs up the receiver_]
“Sorry you have been trubbled!” And it’s sure to be someone trying to
get on.
GRAY. On Christmas morning? Hardly! I say, come along! The bells have
stopped.
MARGARET. [_In a strange voice_] Yes, they stopped when that other bell
rang.
SYDNEY. Why, Mother, what’s the matter?
MARGARET. [_Blindly_] They stopped.
SYDNEY. I told you, darling, you’re late.
MARGARET. Give me my furs. I’m cold. [GRAY _helps her on with them_.]
SYDNEY. [_Proud of her_] They _are_ lovely.
MARGARET. [_At the door, wistfully_] It isn’t too good to be true, is
it?
GRAY. The furs?
MARGARET. Everything! You--oh, what a fool I am! [_You hear_ GRAY’S
_laugh answering hers as they go out together, and the sound of the
motor driving away_.]
SYDNEY. [_Subsiding on to the sofa, to_ KIT, _who has come in as the
others go_] I thought they’d never get off. Mother has a way of standing
around and gently fussing--I tell you I’ll be glad when next week’s
over.
KIT. So’ll I. I haven’t had a look in lately.
SYDNEY. [_With an intimate glance_] Not last night? But it _has_ been a
job, running Mother. I’m bridesmaid and best man and family lawyer and
Juliet’s nurse all rolled into one--and a sort of lightning conductor
for Aunt Hester into the bargain. That’s why I’ve had so little time for
you. It’s quite true what Gray was saying just now--Mother _is_
nineteenth century. She’s sweet and helpless, but she’s obstinate too.
My word, the time she took making up her mind to get that divorce!
KIT. It’s just about that that I’ve been wanting to talk to you. You
see--
SYDNEY. Well?
KIT. You see--
SYDNEY. Hurry up, old thing!
KIT. Well, you see, when I got home last night the governor was sitting
up for me.
SYDNEY. He would be.
KIT. And in the course of the row--_you_ came in to it.
SYDNEY. Oh, but he likes me.
KIT. Yes, he was quite soothed when I said we were engaged.
SYDNEY. Liar!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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