_She._ It did not me always. It was while I was in Britany--where I got
this peasant dress; isn't it quaint?--that I learned to know the sea.
It judged me; it reiterated one burden over and over until it seemed
to me that I should go mad; yet at the same time its calmness gave
me self-control. If there had been the slightest trace of anger or
relenting in its accusations, I could have turned away easily enough,
and shaken its influence all off. But it was like an awful tribunal
before which I had to stand silent, and review my past as interpreted by
inexorable justice,--with no palliations, no shams, nothing but honest
truth. But why should I say all this rigmarole to you? You must be
amused,--if you are not too much bored, that is.
_He._ On the contrary, I thank you very much.
_She._ For what?
_He._ First, for your confidence in me; and second, for telling me an
experience so like my own. It was not the sea, but circumstances that
delivered me over to myself,--a long, slow convalescence, in which I,
too, had an interview with the Nemesis of truth, and found a carefully
built structure of shams and self-deception go down as mist before
the sun. The most frightful being in the world to encounter is one's
estranged better self.
_She._ That is true. No one but myself could have persuaded me that it
was I who was to blame. The more I was argued with, the more I believed
myself a martyr, and my husband--
_He._ Your husband?
_She._ I have betrayed myself. I am not mademoiselle, but madame.
_He._ But I see no--
_She._ No ring? True; I returned that to my husband before I went to
Britany.
_He._ And in Britany?
_She._ In Britany I would have given the world to have it back again.
_He._ But your husband? Did he accept it so easily?
_She._ What else can a man do when his wife casts him off?
_He._ Do? Oh, it is considered proper in such cases, I believe, for him
to make a violent pretence of not accepting his freedom.
_She._ You seem to be sure he considered it freedom!
_He._ Pardon me. I forgot for the moment that you were his wife.
_She._ Compliments do not please me.
_He._ Then you are not a woman.
_She._ Will you be serious?
_He._ Why should I be--at a ball?
_She._ Because I choose.
_He._ Oh, good and sufficient reason!
_She._ But tell me soberly,--you are a man,--what could my husband have
done?
_He._ Do you mean to make my ideas standards by which to try him?
_She._ Perhaps yes; perhaps no. At least tell me what you think.
_He._ A man need not accept a dismissal too easily.
_She._ But what then?
_He._ He might have followed; he might have argued. It is scarcely
possible that you alone were to blame. Was there nothing in which he
might have acknowledged himself wrong,--nothing with which he should
reproach himself?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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