_Miss V._ That's just right.
_Mrs. V._ Diamonds are trumps.
_Miss V._ Oh, are they? Oh, that's too bad. I didn't want trumps led.
_Mr. T._ But you said-- Why, can't you go over Colonel Graham's
nine-spot?
_Miss V._ I made a mistake. I meant to play the ten.
_Mrs. V._ Shall I put on a small one or a high one, Colonel Graham?
_Colonel G._ The trick is ours as it lies.
_Mrs. V._ Then if I put on a high one it will get it out of the way, so
you'll know what to do next time.
_Mr. T._ Why, you've thrown away the king of trumps!
_Mrs. V._ Wasn't that right?
_Miss V._ Why, of course not, mamma. You ought to have put on either the
ace or a low one.
_Colonel G._ It is your lead, Mrs. Vaughn.
_Mrs. V._ She says she'll trump hearts, and I can't play my knave. I'll
try spades. I hope you'll take it.
_Mr. T._ And he did. How nice to have a partner do just what you tell
him to.
_Miss V._ That means that I don't.
_Mr. T._ You are always satisfactory, whatever you do.
_Miss V._ What was led? Clubs? Are clubs trumps?
_Colonel G._ No; diamonds.
_Miss V._ Second hand low. I know that, at any rate, so there's a
two-spot.
_Mr. T._ Your mother has taken it with the seven.
_Miss V._ Oh, and I had the ace, king, and queen. Ought I to have played
one of those?
_Colonel G._ If you tell us your hand you must expect us to play to it.
_Miss V._ I didn't mean to tell.
_Mrs. V._ (_leading spades_). That was your suit, wasn't it?
_Mr. T._ But I hold the ace.
_Miss V._ It was your own lead, mamma. Any way, I'll trump it.
_Mr. T._ Why, you've trumped my ace.
_Miss V._ Oh, did I? I didn't mean to. Can't I take it back?
_Colonel G._ It is a little late, but still--
_Miss V._ Oh, well, never mind. Let it go. I have the king, any way
(_leading it_).
_Colonel G._ But you just trumped a spade.
_Mrs. V._ A revoke! That gives us three points.
_Miss V._ Oh, it doesn't either! I didn't see that king at all when I
trumped, and that was the only spade I had. I'll change it on the last
trick, and then it will be all right.
_Mrs. V._ You can't do that; can she, Colonel Graham?
_Colonel G._ It isn't customary.
_Mr. T._ Oh, who wants to play the stiff club rules? I don't; there
isn't any fun in whist if you are going to be so particular.
_Miss V._ Whose lead is it now?
_Colonel G._ If it isn't yours it must be Mr. Talbot's, as you decide
about that trick.
_Mr. T._ Then I'll lead a spade, and you can trump it.
_Miss V._ There, that's better than having that trump wasted on your
ace.
_Mrs. V._ Did you ever play Stop? We played it last summer at Bar
Harbor. It's a Western game, and you have chips, just like poker; and
then you stop it if you have the stop cards; and sometimes you'll have
the meanest little cards left in your hands, and if it is the ace of
diamonds you have to pay five chips for it, or the king, or the queen,
or the knave, or the ten; not so much, of course, but it all counts up
awfully fast.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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