_Wat._ Here's what you shall see: Wealth, splendour, carriages and four--that's what; The strongest ale a halfpenny a pot, Taxes abolished, grievances amended, And all the theatres' free lists ne'er suspended, Washing for nothing, pickles, pastry, fun, And Wallsend coals at eighteenpence a ton. Give me your votes, and by next Michaelmas quarter Each man shall have the moon who owns a pail of water. Then a bold peasantry, their country's pride, Shall live on eggs and bacon neatly fried. The workhouse poor shall feed on buttered crumpets, And eat roast mutton to the sound of trumpets; The beggar smoke the best Bengal cheroots, And have another man to clean his boots. _Beaumanners._ Suppose to this the other makes objection? _Wat._ You hear my honourable friend's reflection. In such a case, deny it if you can, It's plain that we must hang the other man. I've said my say; the Commons are my goal; I am a hatter--let me head the poll. Beaumanners, who is in love with Tyler's daughter Ellen (Miss Constance Loseby), was represented by Miss Ellen Farren,[35] to whom Mr. Sala assigned the delivery of some of his best puns--as, for instance:-- [35] The cast was particularly good, including Miss Rose Coghlan as the King, Miss Litton as the Queen, Maclean as Walworth, Mrs. Leigh as Mrs. Tyler, Miss Tremaine, and J. B. Rae. It seems to me the business of a _pa_ Is simply all his children's bliss to _mar_. Jane Shore has been the heroine of a burlesque written by Mr. Wilton Jones, and brought out in the provinces eleven years ago. Messrs. "Richard Henry" have also composed a travestie of her story, as handed down by chroniclers. In Mr. Jones's piece reliance was placed, as of old, upon humorous situation and ear-splitting pun. I give an example of both qualities. Jane has denounced Richard, Duke of Gloucester, as the murderer of the Princes in the Tower, and he now proclaims her doom:-- _Gloucester._ Policemen, hear the sentence on Jane Shore-- (_Reading from scroll_) She's never to have dinner any more; No breakfast, tea nor supper--that's her fate-- No matter how much she may _supper_-licate. She'll starve to death for being over pert. _Jane_ (_feebly_). No _dinner_? _Gloucester._ No, ma'am; only your _desert_. High treason is her crime, and I repeat No one shall give her anything to eat; She'll have the fields, the roads to rest her knees on, And if she likes can even sleep _high trees on_; But take good care no pity she arouses-- And mind you keep her from the public-houses! _Jane_ (_aghast_). And is that _all_ the sentence? I shall drop! _Gloucester._ Yes--there the sentence comes to a _full stop_. _Jane._ Then for the sentence I had best prepare. Will some one kindly let down my back hair? (_Catesby and Hastings let her back hair down._)