The coat that is not worth a stiver, An old and worn-out thing, When touch'd with black and blue reviver, Like a new one up will spring. You may dye the coat of one that's needy, Of stuff as coarse as baize; But the robe is done for when 'tis seedy, The robe of other days. The first burlesque of "Romeo and Juliet" was brought out at the Strand in the same year as that which saw the birth of A'Beckett's "King John." The author was Maurice G. Dowling, who succeeded in producing something worthy to rank with his "Othello." In his "Romeo and Juliet" Montagu and Capulet are rival basket-makers, "Mr." Mercutio being foreman to the former, who also has "Mr. Ben Volio" in his employ. Tybalt is a fireman and ratcatcher to the Duke of Mantua; "Mr." Friar Laurence, a "black-and-white-smith" at Gretna Green. Romeo talks in illiterate fashion, and at one point sticks a pin into Paris's back! Miss Daly was the Juliet, and she and Hammond (as Romeo) had to speak, in the balcony scene, such lines as these:-- _Enter_ Romeo _over wall_. _Rom._ He just knows nothing who's been scratched with pins, Unless he's felt the pain of broken shins. (Juliet _appears at balcony with lantern_.) Oh my! what light is that upon the wall Rising like yeast? Crikey, if she should fall! Come down, my duck: the moon can't stand no chance-- You'll easy stare her out of countenance. You're prettier far than she--I'm not in joke, Miss; what did you say? Oh, la, I thought she spoke! I wish she was in heaven, and then her eyes Would be two stars a twinkling in the skies. There! now she puts her hand upon her head-- I wish I was that hair--those curls instead, That she might comb me when she went to bed. _Jul._ Oh, my! I wish that nice young man would come! _Rom._ She speaks! a sign she isn't deaf and dumb. _Jul._ O Romeo!--Romeo! perhaps you're not to blame, But it's a very shocking, ugly name; Go to your godfather, and refuse to wear it, Or if you won't, be but my love, and swear it; And I'll leave home, and go live with you, And be young Mistress Romeo Montague. The name is not so bad--what's in a name? A Rose if Garlick call'd would smell the same. The Friar's directions to Juliet are given in the course of a song, of which the following is the opening verse:-- Here's a bottle of gin--do take it, dear, Put it under your pillow, or somewhere near, And when the old Nurse to her bed is gone, First make yourself certain you're quite alone. Then take this bottle--drink part of it off-- 'Tis double distill'd, and may make you cough-- When presently through your veins will walk A comical tremor--a wish to talk, Oh, the bottle of gin!