The _adagio_ is love's agony, but the _scherzo_ is love triumphant. What beautiful eyes he has! And how pale he is! THE GREAT PIANIST (_Resuming his grim toil._) Well, there's half of it over. But this _scherzo_ is ticklish business. That horrible evening in Prague--will I ever forget it? Those hisses--and the papers next day! ONE OF THE MEN Go it, professor! That's the best you've done yet! ONE OF THE CRITICS Too fast! ANOTHER CRITIC Too slow! A YOUNG GIRL My, but ain't the professor just full of talent! THE GREAT PIANIST Well, so far no accident. (_He negotiates a difficult passage, and plays it triumphantly, but at some expenditure of cold perspiration._) What a way for a man to make a living! THE VIRGIN What passion he puts into it! His soul is in his finger-tips. A CRITIC A human pianola! THE GREAT PIANIST This _scherzo_ always fetches the women. I can hear them draw long breaths. That plump girl is getting pale. Well, why shouldn't she? I suppose I'm about the best pianist she has ever heard--or ever _will_ hear. What people can see in that Hambourg fellow I never could imagine. In Chopin, Schumann, Grieg, you might fairly say he's pretty good. But it takes an _artist_ to play Beethoven. (_He rattles on to the end of the_ scherzo _and there is more applause. Then he dashes into the_ finale.) THE DEAN OF THE CRITICS Too loud! Too loud! It sounds like an ash-cart going down an alley. But what can you expect? Piano-playing is a lost art. Paderewski ruined it. THE GREAT PIANIST I ought to clear 200,000 marks by this tournee. If it weren't for those thieving agents and hotelkeepers, I'd make 300,000. Just think of it--twenty-four marks a day for a room! That's the way these Americans treat a visiting artist! The country is worse than Bulgaria. I was treated better at Bucharest. Well, it won't last forever. As soon as I get enough of their money they'll see me no more. Vienna is the place to settle down. A nice studio at fifty marks a month--and the life of a gentleman. What was the name of that little red-cheeked girl at the cafe in the Franzjosefstrasse--that girl with the gold tooth and the silk stockings? I'll have to look her up. THE VIRGIN What an artist! What a master! What a---- THE MARRIED WOMAN Has he really suffered, or is it just intuition? THE GREAT PIANIST No, marriage is a waste of money. Let the other fellow marry her. (_He approaches the closing measures of the finale._) And now for a breathing spell and a swallow of beer. American beer! Bah! But it's better than nothing. The Americans drink water. Cattle! Animals! _Ach, Muenchen, wie bist du so schoen!_