Isn't it, though! I stayed in Dresden a week, and when I left there were six grafters lined up with their claws out. First came the port_eer_. Then came---- THE FIRST MAN How much did you give the port_eer_? THE SECOND MAN Five marks. THE FIRST MAN You gave him too much. You ought to have given him about three marks, or, say, two marks fifty. How much was your hotel bill? THE SECOND MAN Including everything? THE FIRST MAN No, just your bill for your room. THE SECOND MAN I paid six marks a day. THE FIRST MAN Well, that made forty-two marks for the week. Now the way to figure out how much the port_eer_ ought to get is easy: a fellow I met in Baden-Baden showed me how to do it. First, you multiply your hotel bill by two, then you divide it by twenty-seven, and then you knock off half a mark. Twice forty-two is eighty-four. Twenty-seven into eighty-four goes about three times, and half from three leaves two and a half. See how easy it is? THE SECOND MAN It _looks_ easy, anyhow. But you haven't got much time to do all that figuring. THE FIRST MAN Well, let the port_eer_ wait. The longer he has to wait the more he appreciates you. THE SECOND MAN But how about the others? THE FIRST MAN It's just as simple. Your chambermaid gets a quarter of a mark for every day you have been in the hotel. But if you stay less than four days she gets a whole mark anyhow. If there are two in the party she gets half a mark a day, but no more than three marks in any one week. THE SECOND MAN But suppose there are two chambermaids? In Dresden there was one on day duty and one on night duty. I left at six o'clock in the evening, and so they were both on the job. THE FIRST MAN Don't worry. They'd have been on the job anyhow, no matter when you left. But it's just as easy to figure out the tip for two as for one. All you have to do is to add fifty per cent. and then divide it into two halves, and give one to each girl. Or, better still, give it all to one girl and tell her to give half to her pal. If there are three chambermaids, as you sometimes find in the swell hotels, you add another fifty per cent. and then divide by three. And so on. THE SECOND MAN I see. But how about the hall porter and the floor waiter? THE FIRST MAN