From adenoids, and from chronic desquamative nephritis; from Shiga's _bacillus_, and from hysterotrachelorrhaphy; from mitral insufficiency, and from Cheyne-Stokes breathing; from the _streptococcus pyogenes_, and from splanchnoptosis; from warts, wens, and the _spirochaete pallida_; from exophthalmic goitre, and from septicopyemia; from poisoning by sewer-gas, and from the _bacillus coli communis_; from anthrax, and from von Recklinghausen's disease; from recurrent paralysis of the laryngeal nerve, and from pityriasis versicolor; from mania-a-potu, and from nephrorrhaphy; from the _leptothrix_, and from colds in the head; from tape-worms, from jiggers and from scurvy; from endocarditis, and from Romberg's masticatory spasm; from hypertrophic stenosis of the pylorus, and from fits; from the _bacillus botulinus_, and from salaam convulsions; from cerebral monoplegia, and from morphinism; from anaphylaxis, and from neuralgia in the eyeball; from dropsy, and from dum-dum fever; from autumnal catarrh, from coryza vasomotoria, from idiosyncratic coryza, from pollen catarrh, from rhinitis sympathetica, from rose cold, from _catarrhus aestivus_, from periodic hyperesthetic rhinitis, from _heuasthma_, from _catarrhe d' ete_ and from hay-fever--good Lord, deliver us! _III.--For Music Lovers_ From all piano-players save Paderewski, Godowski and Mark Hambourg; and from the _William Tell_ and _1812_ overtures; and from bad imitations of Victor Herbert by Victor Herbert; and from persons who express astonishment that Dr. Karl Muck, being a German, is devoid of all bulge, corporation, paunch or leap-tick; and from the saxophone, the piccolo, the cornet and the bagpipes; and from the theory that America has no folk-music; and from all symphonic poems by English composers; and from the tall, willing, horse-chested, ham-handed, quasi-gifted ladies who stagger to their legs in gloomy drawing rooms after bad dinners and poison the air with Tosti's _Good-bye_; and from the low prehensile, godless laryngologists who prostitute their art to the saving of tenors who are happily threatened with loss of voice; and from clarinet cadenzas more than two inches in length; and from the first two acts of _Il Trovatore_; and from such fluffy, xanthous whiskers as Lohengrins wear; and from sentimental old maids who sink into senility lamenting that Brahms never wrote an opera; and from programme music, with or without notes; and from Swiss bell-ringers, Vincent D'Indy, the Paris Opera, and Elgar's _Salut d'Amour_; and from the doctrine that Massenet was a greater composer than Dvorak; and from Italian bands and _Schnellpostdoppelschraubendampfer_ orchestras; and from Raff's _Cavatina_ and all of Tschaikowsky except ten per centum; and from prima donna conductors who change their programmes without notice, and so get all the musical critics into a sweat; and from the abandoned hussies who sue tenors for breach of promise; and from all alleged musicians who do