"But," said I, "a representation of the case--of the mistake made--would render all clear to them. I do not see that there is any necessity for complicating the story by saying that you have only half of your relative here, and that the other half is in O'Hooligan's grave. State that orders had been given for the transmission of the body of your great-uncle to Auchimachie, and that, through error, the corpse of Captain O'Hooligan had been sent, and Captain McAlister buried by mistake as that of the Irishman. That makes a simple, intelligible, and straightforward tale. Then you could dispose of the superfluous legs when they arrived in the manner you think best." The laird remained silent for a while, rubbing his chin, and looking at the tablecloth. Presently he stood up, and going to the sideboard, said: "I'll just take a wash of whisky to clear my thoughts. Will you have some?" "Thank you; I am enjoying your old and excellent port." Mr. Fergus McAlister returned leisurely to the table after his "wash," remained silent a few minutes longer, then lifted his head and said: "I don't see that I am called upon to transport those legs." "No," I answered; "but you had best take the remains in a lump and sort them on their arrival." "I am afraid it will be seriously expensive. My good sir, the property is not now worth what it was in Captain Alister's time. Land has gone down in value, and rents have been seriously reduced. Besides, farmers are now more exacting than formerly; they will not put up with the byres that served their fathers. Then my son in the army is a great expense to me, and my second son is not yet earning his livelihood, and my daughters have not yet found suitors, so that I shall have to leave them something on which to live; besides"--he drew a long breath--"I want to build on to the house a billiard-room." "I do not think," protested I, "that the cost would be very serious." "What do you mean by serious?" he asked. "I think that these relics of humanity might be transported to Auchimachie in a hogshead of cognac, much as the others were." "What is the price of cognac down there?" asked he. "Well," I replied, "that is more than I can say as to the cask. Best cognac, three stars, is five francs fifty centimes a bottle." "That's a long price. But one star?" "I cannot say; I never bought that. Possibly three francs and a half." "And how many bottles to a cask?" "I am not sure, something over two hundred litres." "Two hundred three shillings," mused Mr. Fergus; and then looking up, "there is the duty in England, very heavy on spirits, and charges for the digging-up, and fees to the officials, and the transport by water----" He shook his head. "You must remember," said I, "that your relative is subjected to great indignities from those legs, getting toed three or four times round the enclosure." I said three or four, but I believe it was only twice or thrice. "It hardly comports with the family honour to suffer it."