"Yez oughtn't to be kept here undher lock an' kay," said "His
Majesty," "an' mesilf 'ud be the proud man to let yez out, ivery one
av yez, but thin how do I know that I'd iver see yez agin? I must
kape yez till me fate's decoided. I don't know yet that ye'd be
willin' to come to terruuis; an' so ye're loike O'Rafferty in the
song:
"'Oh, a fine pair av handcuffs he wore,
That the sheriff hiul nately adjusted,
Because that official persayved
That O'Rafferty couldn't be trusted.'"
"Ah, sire," said Mrs. Russell, with a sigh, "Your Royal Majesty holds
us by stronger bonds than bolts and bars."
"Be jabers!" exclaimed "His Majesty," "that's good! that's nate!
that's illigant! I couldn't bate that mesilf, an' I hope that all the
ladies prisent will join in that sintimint."
As he spoke, "His Majesty" looked hard at Katie, but that young lady
did not catch the royal eye.
"The throne av Spain," continued "His Majesty," "an' the crown an'
sceptre av Spain, an' all the r'y'l regalia, an' all the moight an'
majesty an' magnificence av its pomp an' power--be jabers! they're
all goin' a beggin' in this room; an' there's one here that's only
got to wink, an' it's hers, every bit av it."
Mrs. Russell here made desperate efforts to catch the royal eye, but
to no purpose, for that eye was fixed on Katie.
"Yis," continued "His Majesty," "an' afore to-morrow noon it 'ud be
all hers, any time at all--crown an' sceptre an' all--an' the
marriage ceremony cud come off in the mornin', loike Tim:
"'Oh, married was Tim at the dawn av day;
His bride was a stout owld widdy;
She owned a horse, an' she owned a shay,
An' her maiden name was Biddy.'"
The habits of this illustrious being were singular, and his tendency
to make odd quotations, which were not always particularly relevant,
was not the least surprising of his ways. In this last quotation Mrs.
Russell found several objectionable expressions; but on the whole the
idea was a flattering one, for the subject of the narrative was
represented as "marrying a widow;" and this little circumstance was
taken as a fresh proof of "His Majesty's" devotion.
"Yez mustn't think," continued "His Majesty," "that there's any lack
av our r'y'l attintion to yez because yez haven't got much to brag av
in the way av food; begorra! I'm in the same box mesilf, an' it isn't
much at all at all I can get here except mutton, an' it's mesilf that
'ud give all the mutton in Spain for a bit av a pratie. Howandiver, I
hope to get some fish by to-morrow mornin'. If we could only get a
taste av a few praties there'd be nothin' wantin'; for--
"'It's little I axes,
Au' little I wish;
If others want luxuries, let them;
For praties and fish
Make an illigant dish,
If ye only have whiskey to wet them.'"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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