Oh! but you should have seen her head, and that of Joseph, too, whose
reading was suddenly interrupted, now and then, by my questions.
How scandalized and ridiculous they were! You have no idea how far
behind the times they are in the country. They know nothing, they see
nothing, they understand nothing; the most natural thing abashes them.
And yet, he with his awkward respectability, she with her virtuous
disorder,--nothing will get it out of my mind that they are intimate.
Oh! indeed, one must really be in a bad way to be satisfied with a type
like that.
"It is easy to see that you come from Paris, from I know not where,"
remarked the cook, in a tone of bitter reproach.
Whereupon Joseph, with a toss of his head, curtly added:
"Sure."
And he began to read the "Libre Parole" again. Marianne rose heavily,
and took the kettle from the fire. We talked no more.
Then I thought of my last place, of Monsieur Jean, the valet, so
distinguished with his black side-whiskers and his white skin, for
which he cared as if he were a woman. Ah! he was such a handsome
fellow, Monsieur Jean, so gay, so nice, so delicate, so artful, when
at night he read aloud to us from the "Fin de Siècle" or told us
salacious and touching stories, or familiarized us with the contents of
Monsieur's letters. Things have changed to-day. How did I ever come to
get stranded here, among such people, and far from everything that I
like?
I almost want to cry.
And I am writing these lines in my chamber, a dirty little chamber, at
the top of the house, open to all winds, to the winter's cold, to the
summer's burning heat. No other furniture than a paltry iron bed and a
paltry white-wood wardrobe which does not close and where I have not
room enough to arrange my things. No other light than a tallow candle
that smokes and runs down into a brass candlestick. It is pitiful. If I
wish to continue to write this diary, or even to read the novels that I
have brought, or to tell my fortune with the cards, I shall have to buy
wax candles with my own money, for, as for Madame's wax candles,--nit!
as Monsieur Jean would say,--they are under lock and key.
To-morrow I will try to get a little settled. Over my bed I will nail
my little gilt crucifix, and on the mantel I will place my painted
porcelain virgin, together with my little boxes, my bric-à-brac, and
the photographs of Monsieur Jean, so as to penetrate this hole with a
ray of privacy and joy.
Marianne's room is next to mine. A thin partition separates us, and you
can hear everything that goes on. I thought that Joseph, who sleeps in
the out-buildings, might visit Marianne to-night. But no. For a long
time Marianne turned about in her room, coughing, hawking, dragging
chairs, moving a heap of things. Now she is snoring. It is doubtless in
the day-time that they have their clandestine meetings.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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