The affair was arranged through an advertisement in the "Figaro," and
without any interview with Madame. We wrote letters to each other,
that is all; a risky method, often resulting in surprises on both
sides. Madame's letters are well written, it is true. But they reveal
a meddlesome and fastidious character. Ah! the explanations and the
commentaries that she insisted upon, the whys and the becauses. I do
not know whether Madame is stingy; at any rate she is hardly ruining
herself with her letter-paper. It is bought at the Louvre. I am not
rich, but I have more elegance than that. I write on paper perfumed _à
la peau d'Espagne_, beautiful paper, some of it pink, some light blue,
which I have collected from my former mistresses. Some of it even bears
a countess's coronet engraved upon it. That must have been a crusher
for her.
Well, at last, here I am in Normandy, at Mesnil-Roy. Madame's estate,
which is not far from the country, is called the Priory. This is almost
all that I know of the spot where henceforth I am to live.
I am not without anxiety, or without regret, at having come, in
consequence of a moment's rashness, to bury myself in the depths of the
country. What I have seen of it frightens me a little, and I ask myself
what further is going to happen to me here. Doubtless nothing good,
and the usual worries. To worry is the clearest of our privileges. For
every one who succeeds,--that is, for every one who marries a worthy
young fellow or forms an alliance with an old man,--how many of us are
destined to ill-luck, swept away in the great whirlwind of poverty?
After all, I had no choice, and this is better than nothing.
This is not the first time that I have had a place in the country.
Four years ago I had one. Oh! not for long, and in really exceptional
circumstances. I remember this adventure as if it had occurred
yesterday. Although the details are slightly indecorous, and even
horrible, I wish to relate it. Moreover, I charitably warn my readers
that it is my intention, in writing this diary, to keep nothing back,
in relation either to myself or to others. On the contrary, I intend
to put into it all the frankness that is in me, and, when necessary,
all the brutality that is in life. It is not my fault if the souls from
which we tear the veils, and which then appear in all their nakedness,
exhale so strong an odor of rottenness.
Well, here it is.
I was engaged in an employment-bureau, by a sort of fat governess, to
be a chambermaid in the house of a certain M. Rabour, in Touraine. The
conditions accepted, it was agreed that I should take the train on such
a day, at such an hour, for such a station; which was done, according
to the programme.
As soon as I had given up my ticket at the exit, I found, outside, a
sort of coachman with a rubicund and churlish face, who asked me:
"Are you M. Rabour's new chambermaid?"
"Yes."
"Have you a trunk?"
"Yes, I have a trunk."
"Give me your baggage ticket, and wait for me here."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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