"Joseph, what day was it that you went to the forest of Raillon to get
heath mould? Do you remember?"
Without haste, without a start, Joseph puts down the newspaper that he
was reading. Now his soul is steeled against surprises.
"Why do you ask?" he says.
"Because I want to know."
Joseph looks at me with his heavy, searching gaze. Then, without
affectation, he seems to be ransacking his memory in search of
recollections that are already old. And he answers:
"Indeed, I do not remember exactly; I think, though, that it was on a
Saturday."
"The Saturday when the body of the little Claire was found in the
woods?" I go on, giving to this inquiry, too quickly uttered, an
aggressive tone.
Joseph does not take his eyes from mine. His look has become so sharp
and so terrible that, in spite of my customary effrontery, I am obliged
to turn away my head.
"Possibly," he says again; "indeed, I really think that it was that
Saturday."
And he adds:
"Oh! these confounded women! You would do much better to think of
something else. If you read the newspaper, you would see that they have
been killing Jews again in Algeria. That at least is something worth
while."
Apart from his look, he is calm, natural, almost good-natured. His
gestures are easy; his voice no longer trembles. I become silent, and
Joseph, picking up the newspaper that he had laid on the table, begins
to read again, in the most tranquil fashion in the world.
For my part, I have begun to dream again. Now that I am about it, I
should like to find in Joseph's life some act of real ferocity. His
hatred of the Jews, his continual threats to torture, kill, and burn
them,--all this, perhaps, is nothing but swagger, and political swagger
at that. I am looking for something more precise and formal, some
unmistakable evidence of Joseph's criminal temperament. And I find
nothing but vague and moral impressions, hypotheses to which my desire
or my fear that they may be undeniable realities gives an importance
and a significance which undoubtedly they do not possess. My desire or
my fear? I do not know which of these two sentiments it is that moves
me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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