Asaph was a man who truly used his head a great deal more than he
used his hands. He had always been a shiftless fellow, but he was no
fool, and this his sister found out soon after she asked him to come
and make his home with her. She had not done this because she wanted
a man in the house, for she had lived two or three years without
that convenience and had not felt the need of it. But she heard that
Asaph was in very uncomfortable circumstances, and she had sent for
him solely for his own good. The arrangement proved to be a very
good one for her brother, but not a good one for her. She had always
known that Asaph's head was his main dependence, but she was just
beginning to discover that he liked to use his head so that other
people's hands should work for him.
"There ain't nobody comin' to see your sister, is there?" asked
Thomas, suddenly.
"Not a livin' soul," said Asaph, "except women, married folk, and
children. But it has always surprised me that nobody did come; but
just at this minute the field's clear and the gate's open."
"Well," said Mr. Rooper, "I'll think about it."
"That's right," said Asaph, rubbing his knees with his hands.
"That's right. But now tell me, Thomas Rooper, supposin' you get
Marietta, what are you goin' to do for me?"
"For you?" exclaimed the other. "What have you got to do with it?"
"A good deal," said Asaph. "If you get Marietta with her fifteen
hundred a year--and it wouldn't surprise me if it was eighteen
hundred--and her house and her garden and her cattle and her field
and her furniture, with not a leg loose nor a scratch, you will get
her because I proposed her to you, and because I backed you up
afterward. And now, then, I want to know what you are goin' to do
for me?"
"What do you want?" asked Thomas.
"The first thing I want," said Asaph, "is a suit of clothes. These
clothes is disgraceful."
"You are right there," said Mr. Rooper. "I wonder your sister lets
you come around in front of the house. But what do you mean by
clothes--winter clothes or summer clothes?"
"Winter," said Asaph, without hesitation. "I don't count summer
clothes. And when I say a suit of clothes, I mean shoes and hat and
underclothes."
Mr. Rooper gave a sniff. "I wonder you don't say overcoat," he
remarked.
"I do say overcoat," replied Asaph. "A suit of winter clothes is a
suit of clothes that you can go out into the weather in without
missin' nothin'."
Mr. Rooper smiled sarcastically. "Is there anything else you want?"
he asked.
"Yes," said Asaph, decidedly; "there is. I want a umbrella."
"Cotton or silk?"
Asaph hesitated. He had never had a silk umbrella in his hand in his
life. He was afraid to strike too high, and he answered, "I want a
good stout gingham."
Mr. Rooper nodded his head. "Very good," he said. "And is that all?"
"No," said Asaph, "it ain't all. There is one more thing I want, and
that is a dictionary."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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